Religion in Society

What's Wrong with Being a 'Christian Nice Girl'?

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Too often people, and women in particular, equate being Christian with being nice. As a result, they bend every which way trying to accommodate everyone, suppressing thoughts, opinions, and emotions.

"A lot of what people call nice behavior is really fear, cowardice, and even sin in disguise," say Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler, authors of "No More Christian Nice Girl."

"Many women are nice, not because they truly care about other people, but because they fear conflict and rejection."

So these women smile politely--through gritted teeth. And when their passivity and false niceness don't bring the abundant life Jesus promised, they try even harder to hide behind a fragile facade of pleasant perfection.

"Women believe that timid compliance and bland niceness are always the answer to the question 'What Would Jesus Do?'" say Coughlin and Degler. "When this passive, superficial sweetness doesn't help them, women blame themselves and believe following Christ's example doesn't work in everyday life."

Yet nothing could be further from the truth, as Coughlin, author of the groundbreaking bestseller "No More Christian Nice Guy," and Degler, a female psychologist and life coach, explain, and they offer an alternative to this "disease to please" cycle of desperation.

They show readers that emulating the real Jesus Christ--not the one-sided "nice" Christ often taught in church--and facing their fears of conflict, rejection, and criticism, opens up options far beyond simply acting nice or being mean.

"If women will risk being frank and firm in addition to being gracious and loving, they will conquer their fear and develop genuine, intimate connections with other people," they say.

Brimming with enlightening information, thought-provoking questionnaires, insightful stories, and biblically-based teaching, this book will motivate women to allow God to transform them into
authentic, powerful women of true loving faith. End-of-chapter questions are also included for further reflection or group discussion.

"What's wrong with being nice? Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler make a strong case that women need to be bold and assertive rather than people pleasers who try to do too much. I recommend this book to you." -- Dr. Kevin Leman, Bestselling author of "Have a New Kid by Friday"

About the Authors:
Paul Coughlin is an international speaker and the author of several books. He has been interviewed by Nightline, The 700 Club, The New York Times, and numerous other media outlets. A former Christian Nice Guy, Paul is a happily married father and lives in Oregon.

Jennifer D. Degler, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and life coach. A frequent speaker at women's events and marriage retreats, she also maintains a counseling practice, seeing adults, children, and couples for psychotherapy. She has been interviewed by, the Lexington Herald-Leader and local NBC and CBS affiliates. Jennifer and her family live in Kentucky.