TSA Worker's Penis Less than 3.4 Ounces, He Can Carry it On
by Nick Gillespie
As noted briefly in today's Morning Links, the super-duper full-body scans introduced by the Transporation Security Administration have bagged their first scalp. Unfortunately, the X-Ray Vision machines not dreamed of since the Johnson Smith Novelty catalog stopped publishing didn't catch a real-life terrorist packing a rectal bomb or even a grandmother with an iron pelvis.
As The Smoking Gun documents, so far the biggest fish caught is a TSA screener with a catch-and-release-sized penis who flew into a rage as co-workers taunted him about his manifest shortcomings:
A Transportation Security Administration screener is facing an assault rap after he allegedly beat a co-worker who joked about the size of the man's genitalia after he walked through a security scanner. The May 4 confrontation involved Rolando Negrin, 44, and other TSA employees who had previously taken part in a training session at Miami International Airport, according to the below Miami-Dade Police Department reports. Negrin, pictured in the mug shot at right, and his co-workers had been training with new "whole body image" machines--the controversial kind that provide very revealing images of a traveler--when Negrin walked through the scanner. "The X-ray revealed that [Negrin] has a small penis and co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis," reported cops. Following his arrest, Negrin told police that he "could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind." After work Tuesday evening, Negrin confronted fellow TSA screener Hugo Osorno in an airport parking lot. Negrin wanted to "resolve a problem," and get Osorno, 34, to "finally respect him."
Can the TSA partner with advertisers? As full-body scans spread around the nation's airports like so much herpes, I'm thinking TSA can get some extra cash by partnering with ExtenZe or some other such enhancement product.
Get the 411 on TSA's 3-1-1! And if that copy of the Bill of Rights you're carrying weighs more than 3.4 ounces, I'm afraid you're going to have to check it.
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that Homeland Security is going to bankrupt the airlines!
Exactly how many people flew between 9/11 and the introduction of Homeland Security? You can go look it up and get back with me, but the number was a lot lower when people didn't feel safe flying than it is now.
So, who's going to bankrupt the airlines? Terrorists or Homeland Security?
I don't follow anyone, because those that appear to be on the same path usually end up just getting in my way.
...maybe it's hidden. Lose weight and you gain a few inches. Maybe just one? Maybe...maybe?
Just tryin' to help.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
You don't have a right to get on a plane. It's a privelege. The airlines aren't obligated to fly anyone anywhere if they don't want to. This is a volunteer procedure. If you want to fly, you have to be willing to go through the security checkpoints. If you don't want to be checked, don't fly. Better yet, if you don't want to be checked, dress like a Muslim and you won't have any problems. Dress like an elderly lady and they'll make your life hell until you get on the plane.
Essential liberty includes going where you wish, when you wish and how you wish.
Going humbly, hat in hand, to ask Big Brother for a travel pass isn't liberty.
Did you know that if you carry a cell phone, it sends out a signal every seven seconds to track your every move? That's not the bad part, though. The phone companies keep a permanent record of the tracking data produced, which the government has access to whenever it gets to feeling frisky and wants to see what you've been up to for the past 20 years.
Maybe you figure massa should have a look at what his slave boy, kong99, looks like naked, but it's not something free men would submit to.
Are you saying I have to loan you my car if you ask for it, or just that I have to let you on my plane no matter what you're carrying in your shoes?
I don't follow anyone, because those that appear to be on the same path usually end up just getting in my way.
You are obviously a good and loyal slave, willing to submit to any indignity massa inflicts upon you to keep his boot across your throat. If massa wants to see you, your wife or girlfriend, or your children naked before allowing you to travel, you figure that's just dandy.
After all, you've had a taste of massa's whip and he has made you afraid. You're willing to bow down and do whatever you are told as long as you believe massa will keep you safe from the whip.
Say, "Bah, bah, baaaa.", my little lost sheep! Having never tasted liberty, you're not certain you would like it. What if you were to lose your illusion of safety? What if you had to trade in your false sense of security and take personal responsibility for your own survival in a world that is not now, has never been, and never will be safe? What say you, little lamb? You find the prospect frightening and simply can't imagine what it'd be like to be a free man.
As hard as it may be for a little lost sheep to believe, once upon a time, free men traveled the sky with the means to defend themselves. They made themselves strong, and through the strength of their own arms, they made themselves safe. The only ones who felt fear where those who might otherwise seek to cause them harm.
Or, as a fellow named Ben Franklin once said:
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
He was talking about you, little lamb.
but your statement implies that no defense can be employed at all. Is it begging for a travel pass if drug/explosive detecting dogs are walked through the airport?
Don't be get all upity about our freedom to do what we want, because you support them being taken away for things you agree with.
I don't follow anyone, because those that appear to be on the same path usually end up just getting in my way.
apparently.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)