A small guard named Jack Taylor scored 138 points in a game on Monday night. That's a lot of points. Actually, it's a record for the most points ever scored by a single player in a college basketball game. Taylor plays for Division III Grinnell College in Iowa. His team defeated Faith Baptist Bible 179-104.
Seconds after the new record was set, the Twitterverse and Sports Center were having orgasms. USA Today called it "Historic!" Forbes dubbed it "Miraculous!" Grinnell coach David Arseneault said, "It's kind of a life-changing moment." Even LeBron James called the guard "Sir Jack."
It's amazing how everybody has gotten this story wrong -- from the head coach, to the player himself, to NBA stars to the media. What we saw last night was one of the most selfish, unimpressive, crappy athletic displays ever witnessed.
This wasn't an impressive performance. It wasn't great. And it wasn't cool.
This was a cheap insult to the game of basketball, and it's a terrible lesson for kids.
Jack Taylor is a mediocre athlete who should be ashamed of what he did. Right along with his joke of a coach and misguided teammates. It's too bad nobody on Monday night had the guts to say that to all of their phony faces as they ran up the score and won by 75 points.
Jack Taylor committed one enormous fraud -- and it's an ideal metaphor for what's wrong with a current generation of self-important, look-at-me athletes who care more about personal stats than winning as a team and respecting the sport.
And you know what, Jack? Any guard playing for any college team in America could have done this last night. Anybody could have hoisted up a disgusting 108 shots during the game -- many when the game was effectively over -- and contributed exactly 0 assists. (Way to get your teammates involved, Jack.) Anybody could have kept shooting and left the blowout with only one minute left, up by 70 points.
You see, Taylor didn't have a special game -- he just took a ton of shots. Eventually, some are bound to go in. He took 108 and missed 56. That's not sizzling accuracy. In fact, Taylor took 71 three-pointers. He made only 27 of them. That's 38 percent shooting. Trust me, nobody has ever said "that guy was on fire behind the arc" if he shot 38 percent from behind the line. Nobody.
So during his "amazing" night, Jack Taylor missed an astounding 44 three-pointers. Let me repeat that. Jack Taylor actually missed 44 three-point shot attempts in one basketball game. That's not bad shooting -- that's an abomination. Any coach who thinks it's okay for his guard to miss 44 three-pointers in one game, as his team wins by 75, should be coaching in... well, Division III.
I'd be more impressed if Jack Taylor scored 40 points on 14-15 from the field and 6-6 from the freethrow line. That's a great night. But not this. Because Taylor needed more than 100 shots to achieve his stupid little record, it should forever have an asterisk next to it.
Most Points in One Game: Jack Taylor, 138 points*
*This record was achieved because the Grinnell boys (notice boys instead of men) team stopped playing the game for real and wanted to get a little guard a meaningless record. Jack actually missed more shots than he made during the game, which is actually embarrassing, and the team was still shooting threes late in a game it won by 75 points. Consider it tarnished.