Joke: 11 Things Overheard at Penthouse Founder Bob Guccione's Funeral

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The founder of "Penthouse" magazine died last week and his funeral was a star-studded affair.  For a taste of what happened, enjoy today's list of the Top Things Overheard at Bob Guccione's Funeral.

Fitting, he gets to spend eternity in a box.

Everything's so meticulously planned.  But then, Bob was always very anal.

Shed your tears now, but save your other bodily fluids for the reception.

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This judge looked an inmate square in the eyes and did something that left the entire courtroom in tears:

I've actually seen him stiffer than this.

He took a bunch of Viagra before he died, so it's open casket.

Hand sanitizer!  Step up and get your hand sanitizer for a dollar!

Wow, there haven't been this many STDs in one room since the last episode of "Jersey Shore".

Not surprisingly, the pages to the program are stuck together.

He originally wanted a metal casket, but then he looked at one of his models and "got wood."

Look at this huge bouquet sent by the good folks at Bounty.

Dear "Penthouse":  "I never thought anything like this could happen to me, but I was at Bob Guccione's funeral when I saw her . . ."