Top 10 Things Overheard in the White House During Obama’s First Term

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10. “What should I do next, Senior Chavez?”

9. “You mean BP doesn’t stand for Boston Pizza?”

8.”Honestly, Barack! A teleprompter in the bedroom?”

7. “I’m not sure a Che Guevara wall flag in the Oval Office is a good idea, Mr. President.”

6. “Heads, we take over the auto industry. Tails, we nationalize the oil industry.”

5. “Apology list: Iraq –check. Saudi Arabia – check. Palestine – check. Syria…”

4. “Canada’s health care system is a perpetual money-sucking vortex that has resulted in bloated bureaucracy, demanding unions, longer wait times, and a steady exodus of their best and brightest professionals out of the country. Finally we’ve found the perfect template for Obamacare!”

3. “Sean Penn, line two.”

2. “Have they chosen someone to play me in the movie yet?”

1. “Damn Bush keeps calling, laughing, and hanging-up.”