Sports

The Lawrence Taylor Story: Yet Another Foolish Athlete

| by Alex Groberman

Lately the sports pages seem to have more crime stories than any other sections. Every day this week someone accused an athlete of murder, sexual assault or drug abuse. It’s almost enough to make fans long for the petty little adultery and recruiting racial innuendo scandals that April provided us with.

Lawrence Taylor is the latest example in a long line of dumb athletes getting stuck in even dumber predicaments.

By now, everyone has heard the story. Taylor, a true NFL legend, was arrested on Thursday for allegedly having sex with a beaten, 16-year-old prostitute. He faces charges of third-degree rape, patronizing a prostitute, etc. (He said she lied to him and claimed she was 19.)

The only thing Taylor hasn't been accused of up to this point is having good judgment.

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This judge looked an inmate square in the eyes and did something that left the entire courtroom in tears:

This is a man who admittedly abused alcohol and drugs throughout his life. A superstar athlete who had admitted to sending prostitutes to the rooms of opposing teams during his career in hopes of tiring them out before games. The player who once showed up to a team’s practice in handcuffs because a couple of call girls wanted to try them out, but ended up losing the key.

Taylor was a fool before his career in the professional ranks started and remained one to this very day.

By his own admission, Taylor is no stranger to hiring prostitutes.

He claims he did not have sexual intercourse with the 16-year-old teenage accuser. Rather, Taylor somehow accidentally ended up alone in a Holiday Inn room after midnight with a teenage prostitute police say Taylor paid $300.

Forget the things we still don’t know about the night in question, just look at the facts of that police have confirmed.

A 16-year-old girl showed up to the NFL legend’s hotel room. Her face showed clear markings from a beating she received earlier. Taylor paid her $300.

Taylor’s current wife, upon hearing the charges levied against her husband, said the accuser wasn’t Taylor’s type. Apparently the NFL star usually cheats with a different-looking style of women.

It’s hard to end this article with a witty comment because the endless pattern of foolish athletes doing stupid things is getting exhausting. It’s not that sportswriters are looking for negative things to write about, it’s just that athletes keep giving writers endless material.

Here’s a little recap of the past few months in sports headlines courtesy of Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock:

“L.T. knocked a nameless Virginia lacrosse player accused of murdering his former girlfriend out of the headlines. The Virginia lacrosse player momentarily overshadowed Miami general manager Jeff Ireland’s “is-your-mama-a-prostitute?” gaffe. Ireland provided some cover for Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who recently avoided prosecution from sexual-assault charges.

And Big Ben was about the only thing stealing any spotlight from recovering sex addict Tiger Woods.”

Congratulations Mr. Taylor. When it comes to recapping this year in sports, you’re perfectly situated in a group featuring an alleged murderer, a twice-accused-of-sexual-assault fool, and a nympho sex addict.