New Website Helps People 'Drunk Dial' Congress
Furloughed workers, government employees being forced to work for free or anyone who is mad at Congress about the shutdown can now get drunk, call a lawmaker and yell at them via a new website.
If you don't know what to say to a lawmaker, the website also provides a list of talking points, all taken from actual news stories:
If you can yell at a Park Ranger after forcing the Government to shut down then I get to yell at you!
You guys think you are the same as the heroes of 9/11? Get a f------ grip!
You jerks are costing the country $12 million bucks per hour!
My grandma can't get her cancer treatment!
My kids won't stop yelling at me about camping!
You had one job to do & you failed!
How dare you not fund Veterans!
You guys aren't funding the police that are protecting you???
Why don't you make yourself useful and at least mow the lawn?
The website also includes "drink recipes" to help you get bombed before you make your drunk phone call.
(Note: Of course, readers should not use DrunkDialCongress.org for any actual abusive or illegal behavior. Nor do we endorse getting drunk.)