John Wes Townley Suspended, Facing DUI Charges After Accident

We hear about – and write about – athletes getting arrested for DUI’s all the time. It happens constantly, but we suppose it’s a little different when your job as an athlete is to, you know, drive.

We don’t know exactly what happened, but John Wes Townley was arrested around 4:30 AM Tuesday morning after his BMW veered off the road and hit a telephone pole. The Athens
Banner-Herald reported that police saw Townley as disoriented, seemingly intoxicated and bleeding from his…feet? Yes, feet.

Well, RAB Racing apparently wasn’t thrilled with this little incident, so he has been suspended as he faces the DUI charges.

“Obviously, this is an unfortunate situation,” team owner Robby Benton said in a statement. “However, we have to react to the severity of the incident accordingly.”

We’ve said for years that NASCAR would be way more interesting if the drivers were drunk during the races. Pit stops wouldn’t just be about fueling and changing tires, they’d also be there gettin’ a few more Natty Lights! You could hear them on their radios, “ckkkkkk I’m gonna need some more Old Grandad! ckkkkk” And also, you’d need a minimum BAC to win the race (To be determined by official NASCAR representatives of course, we’d need to be safe about it obviously). So if you weren’t drunk enough, you’d have to go back to the pits and start hammerin’!

Seriously, that’d we way better than seeing cars circle around an infield where you just watched its grass grow.