Selanne Signs 1-Year Deal with Ducks

| by Off The Record

Many thought that last year would be Teemu Selanne’s final year of hockey. Some prayed it would be (no they didn’t). But, in a stunning turn of events (not really), Selanne has signed a one-year, $4 million contract with the Anaheim Ducks.

“Teemu Selanne to return to Ducks. Just signed for one year, $4 million,” tweets Helene Elliot of the LA Times.

Selanne had 31 goals and 80 points in just 73 games last season, so it’s clear he can still play.

This should go a long way to lifting the spirits of the Anaheim locals. Many are devastated by out-of-control spending in Washington and the huge budget deficit. This signing will go a long way towards quelling those fears and letting them know that everything is going to be okay with the world.

In other news, Israel and the Palestinians made up and agreed to stop their senseless bickering. It’s not known at this time if the Selanne signing had any impact on that outcome.