Will Rex Ryan's New York Jets be Able to Keep Up with the Houston Texans? No

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There aren’t enough feet in the tri-county area to make Rex Ryan feel good about the way his team has performed this year. And that makes me as happy as, well, Rex Ryan with a face full of feet.

I promise that will be the last of the foot fetish jokes.

Doesn’t it kind of feel like the Jets deserve to be this bad? The Rex Ryan era has been so centered on smack talking and false bravado that now I’m looking forward to this game with the giddy anticipation of one of Anthony Cromartie’s side pieces awaiting the results of a pregnancy test.

Tonight will be an absolute slaughter. Seriously, Vegas can’t make a spread big enough.

Right now I’m picturing the Jets locker room completely silent, as if everyone is awaiting a long over due execution. An execution of all of the hopes and dreams that Jets players, coaches and fans have held on to for the past couple season. Hopes and dreams that were based not in facts, but instead based on the incessant ranting of their loud, foul-mouthed coach. All of his Super Bowl promises and guarantees have seen his credibility drop faster than his waist size.

How can you take a person seriously who says that he’s hoping Darrelle Revis would be ready to return in time for the Super Bowl? For the Jets to make the Super Bowl they’d have to make a serious improvement from their currently 20th ranked defense, which is just about impossible considering they just lost the best cover corner in the AFC. I expect their pass defense to rapidly descend to the same rank of their run defense (currently 31st).

That’s not how you go .500, never mind get to the Super Bowl.

I know teams have been able to win games without a quality defense before. The Packers and Patriots come to mind, but there’s a big difference between those two teams and this current Jets group – talent on the offensive side of the ball.

Through four games, the Jets offense ranks an abysmal 28th. Their only two “good” games came against Buffalo, whose defense is even worse than the Jets, and Miami, a secondary so depleted that Santonio Holmes was able to have his first 100 yard game in 27 straight contests. With Mark Sanchez throwing him the ball!

The Texans, on the other hand, have been one of the top defenses in football for the past two seasons. Jonathan Joseph is basically Darrelle Revis’ equal, and would have been more than enough to shut down Santonio Holmes. But Joseph doesn’t have to worry about Holmes, instead he’ll get the opportunity to lock down second year man Jeremey Kerley. Nobody, including this guy who because of buy weeks and injuries has to rely on Kerley to have 20+ fantasy points to pull out a victory, would mistake Kerley for a psychzophrenic homeless man’s Santonio Holmes.

But the Texans are more than just a defense.

Houston will roll out Arian Foster, the unquestioned best back in football in my opinion, against that Jets rush defense I spoke of earlier. You have to expect Arian Foster has a great chance to score 30+ points in standard scoring leagues, and possibly break the single game rushing, in my completely unexaggerated opinion

With Ben Tate ruled out with a toe injury, Matt Schaub will have the opportunity to throw the ball all over the Revis-less secondary. Don’t forget the stats Schaub used to put up before Houston decided to run the ball 40 times a game – he’s very, very good.

The 49ers defense is every bit as good as the Texans, but nobody is going to mistake their offense for anything other than slightly above average. And yet the score was 34-0 when they played the Jets.

See what I mean about not being able to make a spread high enough?

This is going to be an exercise in complete and total domination. There will be calls for Tebow, close ups of Rex Ryan swearing in frustration and did I mention calls for Tebow?

Tonight, the Jets will claim their place among the NFL’s worst. I CAN’T WAIT! This team hasn’t earned anything, except the ass whooping they are about receive.

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