NFL

NFL Week 10 Game Review: Detroit Lions vs. Minnesota Vikings

Heading into Week 10 the Lions were 4-4, last in the division, and facing a must win against Minnesota. After a loss to their divisional opponent they fall to 4-5 and face an uphill (up-Everest?) battle to make the playoffs amidst one of the tougher second half schedules an NFL team can have.

If I had any sort of inclination towards the Lions, their underachieving, mistake-prone, habitually poor-starting football might greatly upset me. Thankfully I am coming from an unbiased, neutral perspective with zero concern for either team. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at the Lions-Vikings game from Week 10. Won’t upset me at all.

  • And let the penalties begin
    • Why does my first note always have to be of this nature? #badsign
  • It took one possession for the Lions to allow Christian “63 Yards” Ponder to throw a long td. Gonna be a fun afternoon.
  • Let’s see how the Lions respond to this early game adversity
    • 3 plays, 2 incompletions, 1 interception. That’s how.
      • Oh, that was a bad pick. Stafford can’t seem to get through a game without at least one bonehead throw.
        • Be positive, Nigel. We could have Philip Rivers.
  • Leshoure looks more patient than in previous weeks
  • Lions defense can be painfully slow to react
  • Vikings went down the field. Like, really fast.  Way too fast. Uncomfortably fast.
  • Suh got through on 3 straight plays. The Vikings punted after 3 plays.
    • Is it just me or does that not happen enough
  • Leshoure is running with more purpose. Yes, that sounds eloquent. Purposeful running.
  • Down 13-3 at half. Nice, Lions. Nice.
  • Man the Lions secondary is so bad, you’d think they were literally starting guys off the street. Oh wait…
  • Another good job in the red zone for the Lions D. Next step, stop letting them in the ********* red zone
  • Calvin, that’s what I like to see
    • Speaking of Calvin.
      • Why does it always take a bad 1st half to get him the ball. Why?!
  • Well that was fast.
    • Lions 4 play TD drive. Very nice.
  • As an unbiased journalist writing from a completely neutral position, I am beyond embarrassed for the TD the Lions just gave up to Kyle Rudolph
    • Walked into the end zone is an understatement. Pranced? Jovially entered? Eased?
  • My Stefan Logan-induced hemorrhoid flared up momentarily as he nearly made a horrible decision taking a kickoff out of the end zone
  •  That was definitely a late hit on Leshoure…that wouldn’t have been noticed 2 years ago
  • Lions offense coming alive
    • Oh, you mean Calvin Johnson coming alive.
  • Side note: even Calvin Johnson needs a little bling. Nice shot of the gold chain after a red zone catch.
  • Once again, way to decide the Vikings have 0 answer for Calvin Johnson when you’re down double digits in the 4th
    • Once again, what an easy drive
      • 6 play td drive. That’s 10 plays, 2 TDs.
  • Vikings punt, Lions have a chance to tie!
    • …Lions 3 and out. The Lions like to keep their opponents within striking distance, but never too close.
  • Uh, oh—Peterson, oh
    • And let the carnage begin.
      • …and Adrian Peterson has officially torched the Lions. 31-17, that’s about the ball game, folks.
  • Oh, these Lions. They’ll always keep hope alive.
    • Just to rip out your heart. I mean, this unbiased columnist’s heart.
    • The Lions always know the perfect time to commit a stupid penalty.

And there you have it. These are my unfiltered, unbiased, uninfluenced-by-any-personal-feelings-towards-either-team-especially-the-Lions notes. A season after their first playoff appearance in 437 years (I am reasonably certain about the validity of this statistics—that was how it felt) the Lions sit at 4-5 with what can best be described as a “real longshot” at making the playoffs. The Lions certainly have issues, and I will delve into them in classic unbiased manner next time I check in. 

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