Sports

God Seems to be More of a Peyton Manning than Tim Tebow Fan

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Ok, I’ve listened to all the pundits, heard all the reports, read all the magazines, newspapers and websites, and although you can make a compelling case that Peyton Manning may go to the Arizona Cardinals, I’m convinced that he’s going to the Denver Broncos.

Miami who we thought was the front runner going into this process blew it by slobbering all over him as he stepped off the plane. And while you can make a compelling argument for a number of other (sleeper) teams, the fact is that if the Arizona weather, Larry Fitzgerald and indoor football isn’t enough to woo Peyton, he’s going to Denver because they can win now.

So what happens to Tim Tebow if Peyton comes to town? Would he back up Peyton? Hell no he’s not going to be the backup; Denver would trade him to Jacksonville. That’s right, Tim Tebow would get to go home to Jacksonville, Florida where he made his name. But wait you say, the Jacksonville Jaguars just drafted a franchise quarterback last year, Blaine Gabbert. He was the 10th overall pick in the draft!

The words “franchise quarterback” and “Blaine Gabbert” in the same sentence are an oxymoron to put it mildly. To put bluntly, it’s more like a cruel joke. Tebow would no doubt fill the seats in Jacksonville and keep them filled. The move would also give John Elway an out. Elway never wanted Tebow anyway, but he’s been handcuffed because of Tebow’s popularity. No one can get on Elway for replacing Tebow with Manning and this is actually one of the few ways Elway has to get out of this awkward situation.

Surely the fact that Tebow may be replaced by anyone, even someone of Manning’s stature can’t sit well with God; unless of course God likes Manning better. Heck the Manning family is like the Brady Bunch, what’s not to like? Archie, Peyton, Eli, none of them ever do or say anything wrong! Heck, even Cooper struck it rich at Weil Howard, an energy investment banking firm. In fact it’s Cooper who is currently carrying on the Manning name as the father of two boys and a girl.

I’m kind of interested to see what kind of loyalty God is going to show Tebow here… Only time will tell, but if Manning ends up in Denver leaving Tebow at the altar and having to go to Jacksonville or even Miami, God is going to have plenty of people to answer to. At the very least, Jimmy Fallon is going to have to come up with a new song parody.