Sports

Denver Broncos Analysis: Does Tim Tebow Overshare?

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This whole Tim Tebow loves Jesus thing with Jake Plummer is getting out of hand. Who cares who the guy loves, who he dislikes or what he does behind closed doors. That’s his personal business and none of ours.

Tebow claims he’s a heterosexual virgin. Why does he have to declare anything? I couldn’t care less if he was having a ménage à trois with one of the apostles and Jesus himself. All I care about is what the guy does with the football after he says hike.

In judging Tebow, I’ve seen him play in college and now as a pro. When I evaluate him as a football player, I see that the team that he is playing quarterback for wins the game more often than not. I don’t care if he runs it, passes it, or hands the ball to someone else. I don’t care if he does all three on the same play. All that matters is if they win.

If I’m rooting for the Denver Broncos I don’t care if they win 3-0 or 30-0. I don’t care if they lead from the opening kickoff and win in a romp or never lead until the final second, as long as they lead when the clock reads 0:00 or when they leave the field. As far as I’m concerned, the guy is a winner. That’s all he does is win. Is it pretty? No, it’s ugly as all get out. Even when he does something athletic it looks awkward. All lefties look awkward. Did you ever notice that left-handed baseball player try to catch a fly ball? It looks like they can’t find the ground with their right foot.

He holds the ball too low, his throwing motion is too long, it’s too slow, he’s not accurate, he can’t read the defense. You think he doesn’t know all of this? If he thinks he’s got an open guy and can make the throw he throws it, if not, he’s says “oh heck” and he runs it. If you’re a Broncos fan, did it matter that he ran it in for 20-yards instead of throwing it? Do New York Jets fans feel better this week because Tebow ran it and didn’t throw a game winning 20-yard pass? It was still worth six points right?

Even though it may not look pretty, it’s certainly effective. And at 6’-3” 236 pounds, he’s no Michael Vick. You won’t see Tebow missing every other week because he’s dinged up. Did you see Darrelle Revis whiff on that tackle on the winning drive last Thursday night? Tebow wasn’t sliding, he wasn’t running out of bounds, he wasn’t even trying to avoid Revis, he tried to run him over. And Revis wanted no part of him. WHIFF…..

Look, I don’t particularly care for when athletes thank the lord for their performance or for the team’s win. It’s as if Jesus was rooting for them and their team and not the other players or team. That strikes me as odd. Unless Jesus has money on the game, I just don’t get it. What happens when the player and their team gets their ass kicked? We never hear from them then because the microphone is over on the other sideline. Do these guys then say “thank the lord for the beat down just handed to us?” Or, “Thank the lord for making me fumble, drop the ball or miss wide right?” But while I don’t agree with it, it’s none of my business! Tebow is free to praise his mother, his cousin, Jesus, Allah, whoever the hell he wants, so long as he wins. Now if he starts loosing regularly the religious son-of-a-bitch needs to shut his mouth.

Joey Smith has no job, no family and nothing to do. Frankly, Joey doesn’t have much of a life really, he's just a silhouette. All he does is sit around the house with his dog Wilson and a turtle that he’s yet to name and make fun of people all day. Join Joey as he makes fun of the people making news. You may email Joey @ [email protected]. We’re not sure why you would want to do that, but you can.