The Philadelphia Eagles are so bad…
How bad are they?
They’re so bad that while walking through the forest, Snow White’s seven dwarfs fell into a deep canyon. Creeping to the edge, Snow White called down, “Are you alright?”
She heard a voice call back up “The Eagles are Superbowl contenders.”
“Thank God,” Snow White said to herself. “At least Dopey’s alive…”
But seriously, what do Billy Graham and the Eagles have in common? They can both make 75,000 people rise up and scream, “Oh, Jesus!”
Is this really what writing about two teams in the national spotlight has come to? The 2-8 Carolina Panthers versus the 3-7 Eagles? Oh, sure, there’s a lot that can be said, but why bother? Is it important to note 6 of the Eagles’ seven losses have been consecutive? Shall we again sing the praises of young rookie QB Nick Foles, in for concussed starter Mike Vick? Should it be noted that six of the Panthers’ losses have been by a TD or less?
All of that has been said. However, a closer look at some of the numbers can lend to some interesting facts. Last year’s rookie sensation, Carolina QB Cam Newton, has been held in check this year. This season he has 9 TDs in the air and has pounded another four out on the ground. He had 35 TDs last season in another losing bid for playoff glory. But the Eagles’ pass defense, in four games, has allowed 11 TDs. They have not even one interception. Opposing teams’ passer-ratings are averaging 143.6. Cam has a wide open field.
The Eagles’ most prolific scorer (yes, with only five TDs), LeSean McCoy is out with a concussion. Eagles’ fans around Pennsylvania groaned when Andy Reid, with under two minutes and a game that was a sure loss, sent McCoy in last week in the play that would rattle his brain. In his place will by Bryce Brown, a seventh-round pick who hasn’t started a game since he was a senior in high school. In 2009. Foles, in his first start against the Redskins last week, threw 2 INTs. With several starters on his offensive line or injured reserve, you can’t place the blame squarely on the rookie.
Carolina, meanwhile, almost beat the Bucs last week (Tampa Bay’s Josh Freeman had something to say about that, scoring a late TD and getting the two-point conversion before marching it down field in OT to win the game). They’ve had hard luck on the field and certainly are not worthy of a 2-8 record.
Two things are sure to happen in Philly tonight: The Panthers will win their third game of the season, and even the most die-hard Philly Phanz will turn to a WNBA game rather than watch the ugliness unfold in their own backyard.