Sports

College Football Rumors: Jimbo Fisher, Gus Malzahn, Gary Patterson or Bobby Petrino to Auburn?

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While Arkansas and Tennessee are dominating the coaching search headlines with reports that take absurd, fill it with horse steroids, and then freebase HGH to give us tales of $27.5 million and part ownership of the Cleveland Browns, Auburn remains mostly silent.  The only bit of news to come out of All In territory is that Trooper Taylor is still there doing the only things he knows how to do, recruit and wave his towel.

That means everyone there is either incapacitated or they're cooking up something with 150% more crazy than Arkansas and Tennessee, which wouldn't be a stretch for Auburn.  However, a report showed up earlier this morning of Auburn's "short list" of coaches it is pursuing.  The names on that list allegedly include Jimbo Fisher, Gus Malzahn, Gary Patterson, and Bobby Petrino.

While that's a fine list of candidates, it's not the real short list because a real short list is real short and so are the people on it.  Here's Auburn's real short list: Terry Bowden.

Short?  Check.

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SEC experience?  Five and a half seasons worth.

SEC success?  47-17-1 (30-14-1).  On that note, Auburn fired a coach who won 72% of his games.

Familiarity with Auburn?  Once an Auburn man.

Familiarity with the NCAA?  Of course.  He was once employed by Auburn.

Success under NCAA sanctions?  Undefeated in the first year of sanctions, then went 9-1-1 in year two (20-1-1 overall).

Willingness to keep Trooper Taylor?  Those recruits aren't going to recruit themselves.

/towel wave

Promises not to bring any of the brothers Bowden with him?  I'm sure he would go along with that.

Would he be booed at the airport?  There's a good chance.

Well, seems like a good fit to me.  And since Auburn owes Gene Chizik and company somewhere around $11 million, a quality, cheap replacement would be the financially responsible move.

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