Fantasy NFL

Getting to Know ESPN Fantasy Football Guru Matthew Berry

Twitter is one of the most useful tools a sports fan could ever dream of. At the touch of a button you can be privy to the same sources as Chris Broussard, and he works for ESPN! By simply clicking the follow button you can be connected to anyone and anything; celebrities, athletes, fantasy sports experts, news, weather, porn stars (if that’s your thing).

Most likely, the people you’re following are a mixture of your interests. Matthew Berry is no different than any of you, the people he follows are an eclectic mix of everything twitter has to offer. And yes, porn stars are a thing of his.

ESPN is owned by ABC, which is owned by Disney, which is run by Mickey (when he’s not at Valhalla, slumbering and feeding). This makes Matthew Berry an employee of Disney, and I’d venture a guess that the mouse wouldn’t be too happy with a few of the people Mr. TMR is following.

You could make an argument that someone’s Twitter is their own personal property that they are free to do with what they choose, but nothing is personal on the internet and as an employee of a major company that pumps Christian values like cold oxygen at a casino, are porn stars and glamour models really the right people to follow?

Let’s start off with @SexyNatG. Natalie Gauvrea is a glamour model and an “actress,” with a big emphasis on those quotes because I want to list off her roles from her IMDB page: Lap Dancer, Strip Club Worker #2, Stripper, Calendar Girl, Referee, Nurse/Swinger.

Bravo, Natalie. You should certainly make sure EVERYBODY knows that you’re an “actress.” The one legitimate character that you appeared to play – the referee – was in a show called Love Court. Here is the description of said show:

A hot young couple goes on a crazy date. One dater will be sentenced to life in the prison of shame, while the other walks away with a cash prize.

Compelling stuff, indeed. Now that we’ve fully discredited her acting career, I can say for a fact that Matthew Berry does not follow her because he is a super fan of anything other than her ample cleavage and the frequency with which she posts pictures of said cleavage.

We’re just getting going.

@xoxoLaurenKiley is Lauren Kiley, a self-professed web cam sensation. For what you may ask? Oh, just a little fetish porn. You know, stuff like domination, bondage, BDSM. This isn’t your every day, run-of-the-mill porn. I’m talking about the kind of porn that if you signed on to your buddy’s computer and this was the first thing that popped up, you might want to sit him down and have a talk with him. I’m not ready to say that Matthew Berry is addicted to fetish porn, but he certainly shows more signs of it than anybody I know.

Creeped out yet?

@notclassy is apparently a college girl. Who – in her own words – is “doing it wrong” in “Partyville, USA.” A must follow for the biggest name in fantasy sports, apparently. A quick check of her tumblr shows that she really is nothing more than your average, moderately slutty, college girl. Does Matthew Berry know her personally? Or does he just creep on her Twitter and Tumblr? Sadly, we’ll never know.

Ok, I’m starting to feel kind of grossed out so let’s bring some normalcy back to this.

@TheAndreaLowell and @DeannaBrooks are both Playboy models. Playboy is sold in convenience stores and displayed predominately in bathrooms everywhere, so there’s really nothing to see here that’s too out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that he’s an ESPN employee and blah, blah, blah, but at this point anything that doesn’t involve whips and chains is a good thing.

Right back in to the weirdness.

@misscalico is a student, blogger and sex worker. What a triple threat! A quick check of her blog and we can get a better idea of what she’s really like:

NYC porn performer, stripper, and model. bdsm switch. into non-monogamy, scotch whisky, home sewing, and l’oreal feria 

Well, we’re back to BDSM, again. Jesus H. Christ, Matthew Berry. You know you can just create a private account, right?

Last but not least (and emphasis on the “butt” with this one) is @PMarizzle. Phoenix Marie is one of the most hardcore, mainstream pornstars in the world. If you scroll through her Tweets you’ll see everything from her with her dog, musings on life and family, and even pictures of her uh…backdoor… Who says you can’t find it all in one place?

So what did we learn from this edition of “Who You’re Following?” Matthew Berry likes it rough and he doesn’t care who knows it – even you, Mickey.

I thought that Jason La Canfora was bad, but you, Matthew Berry, you just straight up gross me out.

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