Society

Officials Ban Winnie The Pooh From Playground Because Of His 'Dubious Sexuality'

| by Jonathan Constante

Officials at a local council meeting have decided to ban Winnie the Pooh from a Polish playground, calling him a pantsless “hermaphrodite.”

The small town of Tuszyn is looking for a new mascot to become the face of a local playground. When the beloved Winnie The Pooh Disney character was suggested, it sent certain council members into a frenzy. One of the councilors recorded the meeting and leaked it to local press, according to the Croatian Times.

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“The problem with the bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe,” said Ryszard Cichy. “It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children. (Poland’s fictional bear) is dressed from head to toe, unlike Pooh who is only dressed from the waist up.”

The group of intellectuals continued to expand on each other’s thoughts, with one unnamed councilor adding, “it doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex.” Then, a fellow colleague took it step further, calling the honey-loving bear a “hermaphrodite.”

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While most were demonizing poor Winnie, Hanna Jachimska pointed out who the true culprit in all this was: Winnie the Pooh author, AA Milne.

“This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut (Pooh’s) testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity,” Jachimska said.

The councilors have not yet reached a decision on who will be the patron of the children’s playground. They did, however, do an exceptional job of displaying humankind’s innate ability to find something wrong with absolutely anything.

Source: The Independent, Croatian Times / Photo Credit: Flickr