It doesn't get much weirder than this.
A lot of police officers have dealt with drunk drivers, and there's no doubt that a fair few of them have some funny stories to share. But this report about a 39-year-old Massachusetts woman who had a lizard in her bra takes the cake.
According to a Facebook post from the Taunton Police Department, the bizarre incident started just before 1:30 p.m. on May 15, when the department received a report that there had been a car accident and sent some officers to respond.
The woman, who was identified as 39-year-old Amy Rebello-McCarthy, reportedly drove her Mercedes off the road above the speed limit and hit six mailboxes, sending some of them flying into the air. Her vehicle ended up on a lawn with all four tires flattened, both bumpers ripped off and the airbags deployed. The car was also leaking gas, said the officers.
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After the crash, Rebello-McCarthy exited the car while a man who had been riding with her got into the driver's seat to try and drive the vehicle back onto the road, said witnesses.
When officers arrived, Rebello-McCarthy was "slurring her words and at times drooling," the police account said. She asked them to call a tow truck so that they could get the car off the lawn and she could head out. Rebello-McCarthy was also reportedly laughing and "didn't feel the crash was that serious."
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The man with her was smoking a cigarette near the gas leak and slurring his words. He said he did not remember his first or last name when asked, though he later said he was 22-year-old Marvin K. Kyewalyanga.
When he moved away from the vehicle, police spotted what looked like the butt of a semi-automatic gun in his pants.
"Let's recap for just a moment," reads the post. "Two very intoxicated people in a car crash, neither of them coherent, unsteady on their feet, slurring and drooling. If that's not a bad start, let's throw the gun into the equation."
Officers handcuffed him, took the gun -- which turned out to be an Airsoft replica -- and transported both of them to the Taunton Police Department. But as they prepared to arrest Rebello-McCarthy, she had one final surprise for them: there was a Bearded Dragon in her bra.
That's not a euphemism.
The reptile was handed over to Animal Control and "faces no charges at this time," joked the department.
Rebello-McCarthy had almost double the legal alcohol limit in her system. She faces charges of operating a motor vehicle under the influence of liquor, driving to endanger, and marked lane violation.
Her passenger was placed in protective custody.
For what it's worth, Bearded Dragon owners recommend transporting the reptiles in a towel-lined cat carrier or similar case and making sure they stay warm, notes BeardedDragon.org.