Soccer

Ashley Cole: Uh, Didn't Know Gun was Loaded

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There are a lot of imbeciles involved in professional sports around the world. In England, there aren’t many bigger than Chelsea soccer player Ashley Cole. The England left-back has shown over the years what a complete prat he is.  

He’s already widely despised throughout most of Britain, especially by women, for cheating on his then-wife Cheryl and by men for having a wife as hot as Cheryl and then getting caught fooling around with strippers and hairdressers.

Cole also texted messages to friends before last year’s World Cup that said he hated England and the f****ng people there. Before that, he earned the nickname Cashley because he defected from London-based club Arsenal a few miles down the road to arch enemy Chelsea for a bigger paycheck. However, he earned a fine of about 100,000 British pounds on the way for lying about secretly-held meetings with former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho while still under contract with Arsenal.

He still had enough venom in him to then release an autobiography when he was just 25 years old which slammed his former Arsenal teammates and other colleagues. If you add in Coles’ brushes with the law, such as driving 104 mph in a 50-mph zone and blaming it on the paparazzi, you get the general idea of what this guy’s all about.

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But Cole reached new levels of idiocy recently when it was reported that he accidentally shot a 21-year-old club intern named Tom Cowan at the team’s training ground on Feb. 20 from just five feet away with a .22 caliber air rifle. Cowan was treated by Chelsea’s medical staff after being shot, but the wound was still seeping a couple of days after the incident. Chelsea tried to keep the incident quiet, but the News of the World newspaper broke the story on Feb. 27.

Why and how Cole got an air rifle into the Cobham training ground is now a question the police are interested in hearing the answer to. They’d also like to know why he aimed it at Cowan even if he didn’t know it was loaded, as he claimed. Cowan’s father would also like to hear the explanation from Cole. Apparently Cole didn’t break any laws, unless stupidity is one of them, since air rifles don’t need to be licensed in England. But the gun in question is one of the most powerful allowed in Britain legally.

Chelsea is now faced with having to reprimand him after the story hit the press. The English Premier League and/or the country’s football association may also have something to say about the incident.  It’s believed Chelsea can fine Cole two-week’s wages, which would come to about a quarter of a million pounds or approximately $402,000.