Rush "The Master of the Conservative Universe" Limbaugh, thinks that the God of the Judeo-Christian Bible wishes that HE were Rush Limbaugh. Seriously. And, he also thinks that he, Rush Limbaugh, is more popular than Jesus Christ. Seriously. If you think that I'm kidding, keep reading.
The self proclaimed "Maha Rushie" claims that his "talent" is on loan from "God-duh´". That's Mr. Limbaugh's pronounciation, not mine. He plans to use that supposed God-duh´ given talent, to save the American "way of life". From who? From the "deranged", and the "unhinged", of course. Or, as Rush likes to clarify, incessently, from the "Libs". Evil LIbs. How's he going to do it? Easy. By coverting them, us, to Christian conservatives. Why would a, let's say, proud, liberal, patriotic, agnostic American convert to a "Christian conservative" because of something that Rush "It's not a ruse! It's not a ruse! It's not a ruse!" Limbaugh said. I"ll tell you about Limbaugh's "It's not a ruse!" kerfuffle, when I close out this piece.
On November 2, 2010, mid-term election day, Rush Limbaugh did a segment that he titled "Flashback: The CPAC Speech That Started a Conservative Resurgence" for his website. Mr. Limbaugh would like America to believe that he played a huge role in the outcome of those elections, and that his keynote speech, at the 2009 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), served as the catalyst that launched the movement that led to these recent mid-term results. But wait, on that November 2nd show, Rush only played the three or four small segments that didn't make him look, and sound, like a total idiot. And, even though Mr. Limbaugh has the entire speech posted on his website, he doesn't really want people, smart enough not to be Dittoheads, analyzing it too closely.
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Let's start with what Rush Limbaugh thinks about you, if you ever vote for a Democratic candidate:
"It is not their task, it is not their right to remake this nation to accommodate their psychology. I sometimes wonder if liberalism is not just a psychosis or a psychology, not an ideology. It's so much about feelings, and the predominant feeling that liberalism is about is about feeling good about themselves and they do that by telling themselves they have all this compassion. You know, if you really want to unhinge a liberal it's hard to do because they're so unhinged now anyway, even after -- but all you have to do is say you know that the things you people do, the things you people believe in are cruel. That's the last way they look at themselves. They are the best people on the -- they're the good people. You tell them that their ideas and that their policies are cruel and the eggs start scrambling.
I have learned how to tweak liberals everywhere. I do it instinctively now. Tweak them in the media. And no reason to be afraid of these people. Why in the world would you be afraid of the deranged? There really is no reason to be afraid of them. And there's no reason to assume they're the minority."
Do you suppose that the Maha Einstein meant majority, not minority? Because that statement, as stated, sounds like something that a liberal, such as myself, would be happy to hear.
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Here's the good news concerning Limbaugh's assertions about you and me being evil human beings, with a psychosis of some kind, simply because we vote for a Democratic politician. That assertion is being put forth by an ignorant genius. This is how it works. While the Maha of All Wingnuts is ingenius when it comes to some things, i.e. entertaining other idiots, he's moronic when it comes to almost everything else. So, breath a sigh of relief my fellow liberals, be proud of your "liberalism", and follow me as I use some additional portions of the CPAC speech, and his strange, week long dissappearance, one month prior to CPAC 2009, to demonstrate the idiocy of Rush Limbaugh.
This next segment, because I love studying the Constitution and the Founding Fathers, is my absolute favorite illustration of Rush Limbaugh's ignorance. Rush has his zombie-like "Dittohead" fans convinced that he is a wiz of a wiz, if ever a wiz there was, when it comes to the founding documents and the Founding Fathers of America. Nothing could be further from the truth. Let's listen, as the Maha Einstein proves that he's a phony "Constitutional scholar":
"We want every American to be the best he or she chooses to be. We recognize that we are all individuals. We love and revere our founding documents, the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. We believe that the preamble to the Constitution contains an inarguable truth that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life. Liberty, Freedom. And the pursuit of happiness. Those of you watching at home may wonder why this is being applauded. We conservatives think all three are under assault. Thank you. Thank you."
Personally, I find Limbaugh's pretending like he has a clue about the Founding Fathers, and the Constitution, one of most amusing scams going these days. This, is a kerfuffle, that should live in liberal infamy. You see, Rush was not there at CPAC just to deliver the keynote address. He was also there to accept CPAC's 2009 "Defender of the Constitution" Award. Is that not the best? "The Defender of the Constitution" misquotes the Constitution, while accepting an award for being "The Defender of the Constitution". Classic Consevatism. Ignorance on display.
Now, as to this who's more popular, Limbaugh or Jesus, business. Let's start with Rush thinking that the "God" of the Bible wishes that HE were Rush Limbaugh. No, really. That's what Limbaugh believes. "God", YAHWEH, the "God" of the Bible, wishes that HE were Rush Limbaugh. At least, that's what Limbaugh jokingly suggested at CPAC:
"And that I am arrogant. Neither of these things are remotely true. I can tell you a joke to illustrate this. Larry King passed away, goes to heaven. He's greeted by Saint Peter at the gates. Saint Peter says, "Welcome, Mr. King, it's great to have you here. I want to show you around, give you an idea of what's here, maybe you can pick a place that you'd like to reside." King says, "I just have one question: Is Rush Limbaugh here?"
"No, he's got a lot of time yet, Mr. King." So Saint Peter begins the tour. Larry King sees the various places and it's beyond anything we can imagine in terms of beauty. Finally, he gets to the biggest room of all, with this giant throne. And over the throne is a flashing beautiful angelic neon sign that says "Rush Limbaugh."
And Larry King looks at Saint Peter and says: "I thought you said he wasn't here."
He said, "He's not, he's not. This is God's room. He just thinks he's Rush Limbaugh."
So you see I'm not pompous. "
Whatever you say, Rush. One question though.
Have you ever read Exodus 20:7?
THOUGH SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN; FOR THE LORD WILL NOT HOLD HIM GUILTLESS THAT TAKETH HIS NAME IN VAIN.
Looks like you're screwed Rush.
From Merriam Webster:
1 : to no end : without success or result
2 : in an irreverent or blasphemous manner
1 : impiously irreverent : profane
Okay, either Rush Limbaugh has never even read the Bible, or he's only pretending to believe in it. Because, according to the Bible that Limbaugh claims to believe in, the "God" that Limbaugh jokingly places himself above, used to do some pretty nasty stuff to people for telling far less blasphemous jokes than the one that Limbaugh told at CPAC. Shoot, sometimes, that "God", would kill everyone in an entire city if HE got perturbed enough. Women, children, infants, you name it. In fact, that "God", killed everyone, and every living thing, but eight people, and two of every critter, because of all the blasphemin' that was goin' on.
Okay, so Rush thinks that he's bigger and badder than the "God" of the Bible. But, certainly, no way does he think that he's bigger and badder than Jesus. No way!
Au contraire, mon fraire.
From Limbaugh's "Liberal Evangelical: Conservatives Choose Limbaugh Over Jesus":
RUSH: A liberal evangelical is saying that conservatives -- and this was on NPR last Wednesday. I'll get to it. We got audio sound bites. I'm just teasing you with this now. A liberal evangelical has said that conservatives choose me over Jesus.
[Limbaugh self-described "obscene profit break"]
RUSH: Here's the audio sound bite from NPR. Last week, program called Fresh Air, the host is Terry Gross, interviewing the founder of The Evangelical Partnership for the Common Good. Did you get that, Brian? The Evangelical Partnership for the Common Good, and the former vice president of the National Association of Evangelicals, the Reverend Richard Cizik. The NPR host, Terry Gross, said, "From your point of view as an insider, how did the evangelical movement damage evangelical witness in American culture?"
CIZIK: It damaged it because it became perceived by millions and millions of Americans as captive to a conservative ideology, not captive to Jesus or the Gospel but captive to an ideology that, uh, has departed from -- in so many ways from -- historic evangelicalism. We're trying to say, "We're for these things," and among those is you see, uh, this, uh, command to -- first and foremost in everything -- follow Jesus. Not the Republican Party or Rush Limbaugh or anybody else, but to follow what the Gospel says.
RUSH: This guy can't be an evangelical. I mean, it says here he's an evangelical. But every evangelical that I've ever heard on radio or TV does not say "Jesus." He says, "Jeeeee-SUS!" and "God-duh." You don't just say "Jesus." "Jeeeee-SUS!" So then Richard Cizik and the host had this exchange...
GROSS: (whispering) You mentioned the Republican Party and Rush Limbow. (sick) Do you think that some of the positions that evangelicals have been taking politically are to keep that alliance with the Republican Party and with powerful people with microphones like Rush Limbow?
CIZIK: Oh, of course! In other words, there are strong forces within evangelicalism against change.
RUSH: Well, this is a bunch of gobbledygook. There are "a bunch of forces within evangelicalism that are against change." Does this mean that I am more popular than The Beatles? Well, I'm just asking a question. More popular than John Lennon? Ooh! Ooo! Did you notice the NPR babe? (whispering) "Uh, you mentioned, uh, the Republican Party and Rush Limbow. Do you think, uh, that some of the positions that evangelicals been taken politically are to keep that alliance with the Republican Party with powerful people with microphones like Rush Limbow?" (laughing)
"Oh, yeah! Oh, of course!" Richard Cizik is the founder of the Evangelical Partnership for the Common Good and the former vice president of the National Association of Evangelicals, and he says here that the evangelicals of the country have chosen me over "Jeeeee-SUS!"
Someone in that EIB studio, obviously, gasped when Rush said "Does this mean that I am more popular than The Beatles?" Mr. Limbaugh is using the controversial 1966 statement of John Lennon's, to suggest something about his own popularity.
Here's the Lennon statement (1966):
"Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."
Mr. Limbaugh, in the middle of a dialogue comparing his own popularity with that of Jesus Christ's, asks "Does this mean that I am more popular than The Beatles? ... More popular than John Lennon?"
Now, that may not leave you thinking that Rush Limbaugh is more popular than Jesus, but, evidently, Rush Limbaugh thinks that he is. Either that, or he thinks, at the very least, that he is running a close second, nudge nudge, wink wink. And, before anyone criticizes me for the spelling of Jesus' name as "Jeeeee-SUS!", in the block quote above, notice the quotation marks. That is a quote from print. That's how Mr. Limbaugh's transcriptionist transcribed what Mr. Limbaugh said, and how Mr. Limbaugh said it. The "mocking" of ministerial inflection, is even stronger in the audio, than it is in print. Limbaugh's "Christianity" is as phony as the way he claims to have lost weight in 2009.
Now, bear with me on this weight loss thing. It speaks to the ease with which, Rush Limbaugh habitually, and effortlessly, lies to his national audience. That's something that we should be concerned about, right, when someone is trying to compare himself to the Savior of one of the world's highest grossing religions? I mean, if someone tells you that they are as honest as Abe Lincoln, you probably wouldn't believe him he was an obvious bald faced liar, right?
Right! So go read this article at CalorieCount•com. As you can see from that article, there was a lot of suspicion about Rush Limbaugh's 2009 supernatural-like weight loss. Eighty pounds, in 21 weeks, without exercise? Why, it defied the very "Laws of Nature" now didn't it. There was speculation all over the media, "How the heck did he do it?" "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" A) "Was it drugs?" B) "Was it gastric bi-pass?" C) "Did he have Lap-band surgery?" "Was it a combination of A plus B or C?" The theories were endless. Interestingly, because I follow the antics of Limbaugh so closely, I think that I know the answer to this precisely. But, because there is not any "hard" evidence, I won't speculate on the details.
I will, however, speculate on a few known observations that might help you figure out for yourselves what actually took place, generally. Go back and watch Limbaugh's CPAC speech. Check out Limbaugh's bizarre, sweaty, bouncy like jack-in-the-box performance. Combine that with the confusion it takes to blow a line about America's founding documents, while accepting an award for "Defender of the Constitution". You're thinking, after watching that video again, that it looks like that was an amphtemine (diet pill) driven bouncey-bouncey, right? So did the Young Turks.
Here's what the Young Turks missed. They only had half the picture. This isn't about the amount of weight that Limbaugh lost. It's about the date when that diet actually started. Limbaugh picked March 9th, to throw the media off the scent. It worked with everyone but me. Why? Bbecause I had never fogotten one of the most amazingly bizarre Limbaugh shows, in the history of the show. Mr. Limbaugh has always maintained that his diet started on March 9, 2009. That's what had the nutritionist's head spinning at CalorieCount•com. But, what if the weight loss procedure started about one month earlier? Wouldn't that bring the whole thing into the realm of believabilty? You bet it would. Welcome to Rush Limbaugh's "It's not a ruse!" diet. A diet that was followed by a year of habitual, effortless, cover-up lies, to his national audience.
The "It's not a ruse!" diet, began on January 28, 2009. Mr. Limbaugh opened his show with this:
RUSH: Programming announcement: I'm not going to be here next week.
Way back in December, with some friends, when we were in Dallas at a Cowboys-Giants football game, we scheduled a week -- this next week -- golf and football. It's gonna involve some trips to the Left Coast and then out to Hawaii for the NFL Pro Bowls and golfing both places, and the reservations have been made, all the accommodations and all this stuff is made, and I'm announcing this stuff today rather than on Friday. In fact, I want to be honest. The staff -- just to show you, my friends, how I totally, fully respect you -- the staff wanted me to say nothing, and when Monday came, with me not here, and the guest host, Jason Lewis, they wanted Jason to say, "Rush is gone, and I don't know where. Maybe somebody knows where Rush is, but I don't. I have been told that he won't be back this week."
They wanted me to do this so that you would conjure up all kinds of, "Has he been kidnapped? Is he on a stealth mission someplace? Did THEY get to him?" But I would not use you that way. I would not toy at all with the deep bond of loyalty and respect that we have for one another here, and at the same time, if I did that, I guarantee you that the Drive-Bys' focus next week would focus on me not being able to take it anymore and having left town to avoid the heat. I just told you where I'm really going. I'm not going to get specific. If I tell people where I'm going, I'm going to be greeted by a mob. I'm not going to tell people where I'm going. It's not a ruse! It's not a ruse. It's not a ruse. I'm flying to Tampa on Monday morning. I'm not going to the Super Bowl.
I have a suite at the Super Bowl that I put together for clients that are going to be in the suite. I rented it for the game. We have a client dinner on Friday night. I'm going over there for that, and I'm coming back home. I'm playing golf Saturday. I got a dinner party Saturday night. I got my own Super Bowl party at my house on Sunday, on Monday I'm flying to Tampa to pick up some people and heading to the Left Coast. Okay? You're not buying this? You're not buying this, Snerdley? Ha! Back me up on this. You've known since December that next week I'm going to be off. Okay. You do know that. Because all over MSNBC next week, the headlines will be: "Has it finally gotten to Limbaugh? Can he no longer take the heat? Did the petition work? Did the petition drive Limbaugh not only off his show, but out of the country?" blah, blah, blah.
That's going to be the template. So that's why I'm telling you now, and I know some of you are asking, "How can you leave now?" Folks, let me explain this to you. Under that theory, I could never leave. We all need to recharge. "But you were just gone between Christmas and New Year's." Yeah, but I really didn't want to be gone that week. That's like a no-ratings week and staff vacations. But you were still gone. Yeah, and so were you. I guarantee you weren't listening to the radio then. You were out visiting the family and so forth and so on. I know I'm going to catch heat for this. "How can you leave during...?" Folks, this is an epoch battle. It's an epoch battle. "Epoch" means long. It will be a long battle. There's nothing that's going to happen next week because I'm gone. I'm sure they'll try some things, but I will be available.
Should there be an emergency, I will be available to phone in and so forth and co-opt my own show from the guest host. I don't anticipate that. But using this theory, "But you can't go! Look at what's happening," there's always going to be something happening with this team in the White House. There's always going to be something. They never sleep. They're 24/7, "How do we take over this country? How do we advance our leftist agenda?" and, believe me, there will be nothing lost. No ground will be lost. But it's... What, now? See, I cannot win. Now I got the staff talking trying to make me feel guilty themselves. "You've just given the Democrats an opening. Now they're eagerly planning for next week," and so forth. Sigh. Anyway, I wanted to be up front and honest with you about it. Whatever damage and harm accrue to me over this, I'm willing to take.
"It's not a ruse! It's not a ruse! It's not a ruse!" Oh, yes it is Rush. And, until one of America's brilliant Dittoheads can explain to me, sensibly, why Rush Limbaugh did the Pro Bowl, instead of the Super Bowl in 2009, and where the pictures are, I ain't buyin' it.
Mr. Limbaugh is a liar, he is no Jesus Christ.