Dolphins

NFL: Dolphins Ross Meddles in with Tony Sparano, Coaching Staff

| by Off The Record

When will the owners of professional sports teams learn? Do not get involved with the coaching! Jesus, is it that hard to understand?

Per the Palm Beach Post, that is exactly what Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross is doing. He said on a recent Finsiders radio show that he wants a more flashy offense that summons images of Dan Marino.

“I’ve told Tony [Sparano] that, to me, I want an aggressive, creative (offense), not playing just to keep it close,” Ross said on 940 AM. “A little bit more unpredictable, and opening it up. That’s what I think South Florida wants, and that’s what this climate demands.”

That’s what the climate demands? You serious?

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“One great advantage in Florida as the Miami Dolphins, that other teams don’t have, and that’s we have the weather in August, September and October,” Ross added. “Our players are training in that weather, let’s take advantage of it. Let’s go with a hurry-up offense, let’s wear them down. We’ve never done that. This isn’t the north, where you want to just take it four yards and a cloud of dust. I think I look for a different brand. Seeing the Dolphins, how fans want to see them, how we win, we’re going downfield, the days of Dan Marino, the days we all want to go back to.”

This is all well and good, but you didn’t get Jim Harbaugh and you are stuck (essentially) with Tony Sparano. You do realize that Sparano is a run-first guy, right? If you wanted a high-flying offense, why don’t you hire someone else? So now, you’ll have a run-first coach and you’re going to make him try to be a flashy, throw the ball all around type of guy, which he’s not. This is a recipe for success!

Should we also note that the Dolphins don’t even have a quarterback on the roster that they like? Chad Henne is okay, but what’s his big problem?

He throws too many interceptions! So I have an idea! Let’s throw the ball more! We’ll utilize all the receivers we don’t have that can stretch the field! Guess which side of the ball most of our draft picks will be this year! Our new offense will be magnificent and glossy! We’ll literally give the ball away to opposing defenses! Here! Take it! No, seriously! Take this god-damned ball from us!