War on Terror

Wait, Osama bin Laden Has a Backyard?

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Leave it to human hunter Gary "Rocky Mountain Rambo" Faulkner for shedding some light on Osama bin Laden and his domicile. Armed with a sword, pistol and crazy pills, Faulkner says he got to the Most Wanted Man in the World's "backyard" in Pakistan.

Here I was imagining bin Laden hiding out in a cave, moving under cover of darkness. Maybe sleeping in a tent -- on a good night.

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And all this time, he has a backyard? How did the hosts at Fox not follow up on this amazing claim? A backyard?

Is there a swing set in this backyard? Does Osama grill in his backyard and invite his Taliban neighbors over for mountain goat burgers and a non-alcohlic beer? There has to be a hammock, right? I can see the big fella snoozing away on those lazy Sunday afternoons.

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What about Osama's garage? Does he do wood-working projects back there? Or is he rebuilding a muscle car? Lift weights maybe?

Wait a second, Gary. How did you know it was bin Laden's backyard and not some other guy's? Did he have a "Death to America!" sandbox?

Was "The bin Ladens" painted on the mail box out front?

Does bin Laden have a porch? What about lawn care? Does Osama bin Laden cut his own grass or does he get the neighborhood kid to do it? 

What's the house like? Are we talking five-bedrooom Colonial? Maybe a tudor? 

So many questions, Gary. Next time get pictures.