Going to Arizona? Get Your Gringo Mask!

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Hey Mexicans, Guidos/Guidettes, Goths, sunbaked Jewish grannies from Boca, Ganguro girls and everyone else who doesn't happen to have blond hair and skin the color of Robert Pattinson's glittery ass: crack open a can of salsa and mix yourself up a margarita because we have a great and important surprise for you!

Gringo Masks! Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

After all, now that existing while tan is now officially a crime in John McCain's great state of Racistzona, it's extra-important to be able to evade the pokey by looking super-white. And nothing says, Hey Papi, I'm legal! like a paper mask! Lucky for you, now there's Gringomask.com, which provides a simple, no-fuss, no-muss solution to the problem of a less than lily complexion. Just print out the mask, glue a popsicle stick on it, wave it in front of your face and voila-- no one would ever suspect you of habloing español!

Don't delay! Print it out and slap it on right now and head out to enjoy your fun in the Tucson sun!