I’m Headed to Tuscon to Steal Some Cars

| by erik

I will probably start with Dr. Jeannie Favela’s car.  Dr Jeannie Favela is the “Assistant Superintendent for Student Services” in Arizona’s Sunnyside Unified School District, and she’s the one that submitted the agenda item that led the district’s governing board to vote to join legislation opposing the new immigration enforcement law.  According to local news reports, the district’s primary concern is the new law will allow police to split up “mixed status families.”

So why should I steal her car? It’s simple: she won’t press charges.  According to the governing board, if an illegal immigrant has a child, and the child is a legal, U.S. citizen, we shouldn’t be allowed to deport the parent because it would fragment the family.  In other words, those who are breaking the law, but who are a part of “mixed status families” should be given blanket amnesty.  My family is full of law abiding citizens.  Therefore, if we follow the logic of the school board, I should be able to steal all of the board members’ cars, Jeannie’s, and the Superintendent’s and receive blanket amnesty for my crimes.  None of the individuals I have named could bear to press charges because it might fracture my “mixed status family.”

Of course, this is pure nonsense.  If I were to actually steal Dr. Favela’s car, I’m fairly certain she would call the police.  Depending on whether or not I wanted to be on TV, I would either be arrested quietly or with a slew of additional charges after crashing into a barrier somewhere at the end of high-speed chase.  I would then serve my sentence, and Favela would get her car back.  No one hearing about the events on the evening news would shed a tear if I were locked up in a Tuscon prison, 2000 miles away from my home in NC.  But if an illegal alien is caught breaking the law, we’re supposed to get roiled up in a righteous fury because he might be ordered to move 80 miles?

Doesn’t it make sense to arrest criminals for their crimes when they’re caught instead of waiting until the whole family joins in?  Governor Jan Brewer certainly thinks so.  After all, even Al Capone had some honest family members.

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