“You know Rachel…you should really try to have more fun” said a dear friend the other day.
My friend is right. I haven’t had much fun lately. Well, that’s not entirely true. There have been some fun moments, but even in the throes of hilarity I’ve still felt really weighted down by life. Like I’m going through the motions of having fun (and not very well I might add!). There’s been a lot of Serious Face Rachel around these parts and I think it’s time she says goodbye.
Easier said than done. It’s called practice for a reason and it isn’t always easy. Whenever I feel myself going down that slippery slope, I make a deliberate effort to focus on the good things happening in my life and trusting that everything else will fall into place. This too shall pass, right? Logically this makes sense but sometimes the process gets the best of me and I’m all Sullen Face Susan before you know it. I wake up every day with the full intention of focusing on the good in life, to see a brighter side of things. I journal about what I’m grateful for and I make efforts to get outside for fresh air to “put away” my troubles and focus on the positive. It is an every day, moment by moment process.
One might think it strange that I am forcing myself to have fun, but if you had seen me a few weeks ago, you know that it’s not strange, but imperative. I was so seriously overwhelmed with “my stuff” that I literally lay in bed all weekend long feeling lost and hopeless when a very severe emptiness started to creep in and it scared me! “I’m not this person” I kept saying. “I know better. I should just get out of bed, call a friend and go have fun.” But alas, I couldn’t. It wasn’t until my boyfriend got home from a weekend away and literally dragged me out of the house that I started to feel better. Good thing too, because after months and months of searching, we finally found our new home…
When we have fun, we learn to take ourselves less seriously and ultimately relax and recharge with enthusiasm. If you spend all your time pondering the ebbs and flows of life, you’ll end up missing the life that is happening right here, right now. Life is meant to be experienced, not overanalyzed and making play dates with friends and time for fun is just the medicine to bring levity to any situation. I love to laugh, dance and sing, but recently those things sounded foreign to me. No wonder, I’ve been lost. I’m not connecting to the things that bring me joy.
There’s no denying that there’s work to be done, but taking the serious edge off helps to put things in perspective. For now, I’m feeling what I’m feeling and when I can’t shake it off I write about it or literally tell myself “put it way for now.” I turn on the music, sing, shake my tail feather and try to laugh. I call a friend and meet up for tea. I go for a run or a long walk. I go to the store and think about all the possibilities for my new home. I try a new yoga class. I get out of my head and into the moment smiling and having fun the whole way.