Susan Root Has "Musical Hallucination," Gets Same Song Stuck in Head for 3 Years

We've all suffered the horror of having a song stuck in our head for a long period of time. Once I got Donovan's "Hurdy Gurdy Man" lodged in my cranium for about a month and I pretty much wanted to kill myself. But imagine having the same song stuck in your head not for a couple weeks or a month but three long years.  And imagine that song was "How Much is That Doggie In the Window." Just the thought makes me want to eat rat poison. Thank goodness that sort of thing can never happen. HOLY COW IT CAN HAPPEN. And is happening right now. To Susan Root.

Mrs. Root suffers from what is known as "musical hallucination." It's not exactly the same as merely having a song stuck in your head. Mrs. Root actually hears the song in her ears as though it were playing through invisible earbuds. Sometimes it's so loud, it actually drowns out her husband. "How Much is That Doggie In the Window" is the tune Root mostly hears, but sometimes she also gets "God Save the Queen" and "Happy Birthday" on her imaginary radio from hell. Why such songs? Doctors say people who suffer this malady tend to hear songs they loved from their childhood. Mrs. Root used to love those particular songs UNTIL THEY STARTED PLAYING ON AN ENDLESS LOOP INSIDE HER EARHOLES.

As of now there is no known cure for this. Root is resigned to a life of hearing songs playing endlessly. Well, that's it. That's officially the suckiest thing I've ever heard. I'm out of here.