Snooki and Situation Do Italy: "Jersey Shore" Back on Air

| by Celebrity Mound

So the Jersey Shore gang is ready to head overseas – that is, if they can figure out where Italy is located. At least Snooki can compare it to one of her favorite accessories.

“I have no idea where Italy is on the map,” she admits. “But I do know what shape it is. It’s a boot!”

Yikes. This is going to be a long season.

The boys meet up at Vinny’s place in Staten Island while the girls get together at Deena’s house for a slumber party before getting on their flight. The race is on – whoever gets there first doesn’t have to room with The Situation. Or Ronnie/Sammi.

This trip is significant because Italy has a special place in each cast member’s heart: Pauly is looking forward to an “international panty raid,” Deena is excited to hook up with skinny, Pauly-like Italian guys, but won’t “do sex,” Vinny wants to find a nice, traditional Italian girl and the Situation wants to meet “more free-spirited” (read: easier) European ladies.

Sammi and Ronnie’s expectation are a bit lower – they just want to be happy and single (we’ll see how long that lasts), and Snooki just wants to prove to everyone that she’s useful because she’s the only girl that can drive a stick shift.

A super skinny J-WOWW is still with her boyfriend Roger, so don’t expect much from her this season. Unless she punches someone again.

On a side note – can we talk about Sammi’s boobs? While both J-WOWW and Snooki seem to have shrunk overnight, something’s fishy about that little “Sweetheart”‘s chest. I figured she was Photoshopped in the promo pics, but unless “Jersey Shore” is now filmed in 3D, Sammi’s chest has seriously fist-pumped up the volume.

Interestingly enough, Snooki manages to bring up implants on the first night, when she mentions she wants a boob job because it annoys her when her uneven breasts hang to the side when she lies down. Sammi is noticeably silent during the conversation.

Meanwhile, what is going on between The Situation and Snooki? While the girls are getting ready for their first night out, the Sitch pulls Ronnie to the side and confides in him that he and Snooks slept together a few months ago – while she had a boyfriend – and that he’s kind of bummed that she’s not single. The wheels in Mike’s horny head begin to turn as he plots how to break up Snooki and her beau.

Maybe the Situation’s going after Snooki because he can’t communicate with Italian girls without the help of the only Italian-speaking roommate: Vinny.

Wow, Karma (and not the club) is a b*tch, eh? You stole his girl last season and now your smush life is dependent on him? Love it.

At the club, Mike tries to put the moves on Snooki by acting all European and kissing her on both cheeks. Meanwhile, Deena drunkenly admits to Pauly that she wants to kiss him and somehow he agrees – though the entire time they’re swapping spit, the look on his face is pure anguish.

From the looks of the first episode, I’m quite torn between being utterly disgusted by our attempt at foreign policy and loving every precious prosecco-soaked minute with these train wrecks.