Entertainment

'Sleepless In Austin' Man Busby Is The World's Worst Bachelor

| by Jonathan Wolfe
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Austin, Texas resident Larry Busby is desperate for love. So desperate, in fact, he created his very own website in order to find the woman of his dreams. Busby’s site is sleeplessinaustin.com (the site seems to be down at the moment).

Why would a decent looking man with a good career like Busby need to create his own website in order to find a companion, you ask? Probably because he’s a huge asshole. Check out Busby’s “standards” a woman must meet in order to be worthy of a relationship with him.

For starters, you better be under 130 pounds:

“I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl. I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine. Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.”

Also, if you are black, or have ever had sex with someone who was, you’re out:

“I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl. And, I do not believe that Whites & Blacks should mix races sexually and have kids together. I think it’s ok for Whites & Hispanics. But not Blacks. I would NEVER, EVER, EVER date a woman if I found out she had EVER been sexually active with a Black man.”

Cool, sounds like a great guy so far. Still interested? Better not have ever had a kid:

“I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.”

Busby, of course, will remain a perfect specimen of the male physique until the day he dies. 

So, ladies, what are you waiting for? Sounds like a real keeper. 

Sources: Huffington Post, Sleepless in Austin