Entertainment

Simon Cowell Rescues 9 People from Drowning

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We always knew Simon Cowell was the world's saviour. Remember the Hudson River plane crash? That was him. Remember the Chilean mining accident? That was also him. And remember the time that baby and that dog got stuck up that 100ft tree and toppled out only to land on a bed of feathers? Yep, that was him too. And now he's only gone and saved nine people from drowning in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea too. When will his miracle making stop?

Simon was enjoying a nice, peaceful yacht break on the coast of St. Tropez with his ex-girlfriend Sinitta - the Robin to his Batman - when the incident took place. There he was, lying back on the deck in his pants, plucking his chest hairs and eating sushi off the back of his maid Matt Cardle, when he jumped into action and plunged into the dark depths of the ocean to the rescue of nine, stranded strangers one by one.

Only he didn't have his goggles on, so he had to scramble back out of the water and get his captain to do all the rescuing instead.

Still though, the thought was there. And Si sent out a small boat from his own gold-plated yacht to rescue the passengers, while his staff - which includes the likes of Eoghan Quigg, Andy Abraham and The MacDonald Brothers - pumped water out of the sinking yacht.

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Sinitta did a heroic job too, by staying inside and live-tweeting the whole thing. She wrote:

"OMG!! Just had a May Day message, 35ft boat sinking.. SC has sent us to help and rescue 9 people on board!

Everyone ok, no-one hurt. Captain won't let boat sink, petrol in sea etc. No tide, so hole plugged!"

So there you go. Simon Cowell to the rescue once again. The only thing Si isn't good at rescuing is other people's music careers. And talking of them, we can't help but think this would have been a different story had Steve Brookstein been the one in trouble...