Entertainment

Simon Cowell Issues Rare Public Apology for Lurid Biography

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The venomous former American Idol judge had to don his sorry cap this week after the release of an unauthorized biography that shares embarrassing anecdotes about many of the producer’s famous friend.

The lascivious book titled “Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell,” reveals all manner of lurid details about the professional jerk’s personal and business life.

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“I want to apologize to anybody I embarrassed because I have tried to keep my rpivate life quiet a bit, and I do have to apologize to certain people and certain members of my family. That’s the score,” said Cowell, according to the Daily Mail.

The book was written by author Tom Bower, and despite the suggestive title, was researched and published with Cowell’s explicit cooperation. Some of the most humiliating tidbits divulged within the biography’s pages have to do with Cowell’s sex life – like the fact that he considered indulging in a night of passion with Idol co-host Paula Abdul (top), but thought better of it after considering what the next morning might be like. Cowell also admits to having a secret affair with former X-Factor judge Dannii Minogue (middle) and a secret obsession with Cheryl Cole (bottom).

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“I will be honst with you,” Cowell told attendees at a book event in the UK. “I spent the last week under a pillow in my bedroom. Newspapers were literally banned for a week.”

Assuming this shame spiral isn’t just an act, maybe this experience will teach the vitriolic host a little humility.