You've probably heard by now that Katy Parry and Russell Brand are divorcing. In fact, Katy's so broken up about losing her husband of a year that she was *barely* able to have a great time partying over the New Year. Just barely. From the New York Post:
A happy looking Katy Perry celebrated New Year's Eve by partying with friends and flirting with a mystery man at Soho House in West Hollywood. The superstar didn't let husband Russell Brand’s divorce filing stop her from celebrating, and she spent the night dancing and laughing with friends.
One spy told Page Six, "Katy was in a private room with a group and she seemed to be in a great mood. She spent most of the night dancing and laughing with friends. One wouldn’t have ever even known that her husband had just filed for divorce. At one point, she was talking to a guy with long hair down to his shoulders in the hallway. They were talking for a while. She was smiling and leaning up against wall. After midnight Katy and a male friend got on the dance floor, twirling each other around and dancing holding hands. She looked like she was having a great time."
So Katy Perry finally came to her senses. Katy, Russell Brand is the English version of Dane Cook. In other words, he's a douche that thinks he's edgy and funny -- he is neither. Literally anyone is a better catch. Did you see him in Arthur? Good God did Brand pinch a vegetarian loaf on the ghost of Dudley Moore. At least you figured it out before Russell could infect you with a giant-gummed un-hip baby. I'm being serious, you can do better. My dating schedule is pretty much locked until 2015, but for you and those melons, I'm sure my secretary can work you in.