Entertainment

Justin Bieber Claims "I've Never Made a Bad Song"

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Did you know that Justin Bieber's song 'Baby' was originally written about the singer himself? Apparently he only changed it from 'Bieber' to 'baby' after his own father called him 'a self-absorbed little shit'. 100 percent true.

And what about the fact he can only eat popcorn after 11 o'clock because his stomach won't digest anything that's expanded over 75 percent while the sun is out? True, we tell you.

Ever run faster than a cat? Justin has. In fact, not many people know this, but Justin Bieber has the legs of a professional athlete, except he can deflate them down to the standard size of a sixteen year old boy legs simply by holding his breath for more than 45 seconds.

Incidentally, did you know that GQ magazine recently spoke to Justin and even though he pretended really hard to be a grown up, he still came across as an arrogant, spoilt teenager? True, totally true.

ON DRINKING

"For me, it's just like, I like to be in control of myself. I mean, I've had a beer, like, before.... But I never get out of control."

ON BEING A BIG FUCKING DEAL

"I mean, I keep my guard up a lot, because you know, you can't trust anyone in this business. "That's what's sad. You can't trust anybody. I learned the hard way."

ON BEING A 35 YEAR OLD METH DEALER

"I'm a swaggy adult! Come on, swaggy bros!"

ON CONVINCING HIMSELF THAT HE'S IN SOME WAY SIMILAR TO MICHAEL  JACKSON, DESPITE HAVING NEVER WRITTEN A SONG THAT ANYONE OVER THE AGE OF 13 WANTS TO LISTEN TO

"I've never made a bad song."

Also, if you push Justin Beiber's belly button with one hand whilst touching a plug socket with the other he turns into a transformer called Pubertron. True, all true.