Womens Health

Jessica Simpson Says Mac N' Cheese Makes Her Happy

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Oh shock, another interview about Jessica Simpson and food. I can feel myself gaining weight just reading this. She told Access Hollywood:

"I'm a big fan of Kraft Mac N' Cheese. That keeps me happy. That keeps me sodium happy. I, like, wake up swollen because I put Lowry's seasoning salt all over it ... I'm craving a lot of things I had when I was a kid, like, this morning I buttered a Pop Tart. I haven't done that in years."

OK, besides being pregnant with an offensive lineman, what exactly is different about Jessica than what I've been saying for years? If she wasn't knocked up, she'd be chewing the varnish off of her armoire right now. You know, her Dukes of Hazard days are way behind her behind, she's pretty much crossed the point of no return. I'm wondering if Jessica thinks she's gonna give birth to an 85 lb. baby or the placenta will be made entirely of lasagna, because she's in Kirstie Alley territory now.  Remember her? She was smoking hot, too. Then Kirstie got really fat and sloppy but never really lost it. Keep it up if you want to look like that pig. Of course I say that with all due respect. Naturally.