Jenny McCarthy Says She Once Humped a Tree

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Jenny McCarthy naked in Playboy is currently residing at the top of our 'Most read articles' list, and has been for quite some time.

So theoretically we shouldn't help her undermine us even further by printing excerpts from her new book, but they're quite funny, so we will.

Anyway, here's a story about how she tried to have sex with a tree while on ecstasy. Lol.

"I found myself holding a tree to brace myself. The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping!” she quipped in her autobiography, according to The Sun newspaper."

“I noticed that we weren’t wearing anything. So I responded, ‘Let’s not. We’re naked. Let’s just try to sneak back to the beach and get our clothes,'"

And here's why, even with so many sexy trees around, she still hasn't had a new man since Jim Carrey:

"I have not met anyone yet that is a potential love. I have myself under construction. I'll let you know when the roads are clear and reopened.

"I'm in love with falling in love. I have come to realise, though, that I need to practice what I preach and learn to love myself completely before I love someone else.

"So, I've been courting myself and having a great time with me, myself and I."