J-Lo Goes Solo Again: are We Surprised?

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In a shock of all shockers PEOPLE reported on July 15, 2011 that -- wait, hold your breath -- the Anthony family was splitting up. “Casey and her heart-broken parents Lee and Cindy,” you ask with an air of sarcasm as if that’s old news. No, by now you realize that it is Jennifer Lopez “Anthony” and Marc Anthony.

But it seems as if Hollywood let out a collective gasp upon hearing, a sort of group ‘awe.’ Is this really shocking entertainment news...really? The couple released a statement regarding the split—wait you might want to get tissues—that read, “We have decided to end our marriage," they told PEOPLE in a joint statement. "This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters. It is a painful time for all involved," the statement continues, "and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time."

Privacy? But you just told PEOPLE! And is it so shocking that J-LO is declaring splitsville when this is her third, count now, third trip to the rodeo and she’s only 40-something? Are we really moved with shock and dismay by the unfolding events?

Certainly, it is a more serious matter this time as the couple has three-year old twins, Max and Emme. However, based on her track record, this was a long stretch, seven long years. By Hollywood standards that’s at least the silver anniversary. Not that Mr. Anthony is any saint by anyone’s, even Hollywood, standards. This is isn’t his first marriage either and there were rumors that Lopez was the cause of his split with his previous wife, although they deny that allegation.

But so would I.

Regardless, by all accounts, Ms. Lopez it seems—and far be it for me to judge—is not marriage material. Let’s examine. Chris Judd came and went, and by the way where is he? Her first husband – wait, his name escapes me -- didn’t fair much better. He went right down the old proverbial toilet once “Selena” made Lopez a bonafide movie star.

What’s-his-name is still suing her for money he says he is owed by La Lopez. Really...what’s his name again? And, of course, we can’t forget the highly publicized courting, then subsequent engagement, then oh-so-shocking break-up of Bennifer. And that also went down the proverbial toilet after the wretched release and later reviews came crashing in from their "Gigli" collaboration.

So for all the weeping J-Lo fans who thought this “true” love was a keeper, have hope. There are certainly more marriage chapters for Lopez. And I am sure the next chapter is not far away. In fact, TMZ just reported that Ms. Lopez was spotted in the back of a vehicle with some “unknown” new man. So cry not you heart-broken fans, for she will love again. And I guarantee, although you may call me a cynic, the marriage and subsequent break-up will likely fall at the same time as the drop of her new album or film premiere.

Wait, isn’t her new album about to drop any day now?