Apr 19, 2014 fbook icon twitter icon rss icon

Ridiculous Lawsuit Against Justin Bieber Over "Stolen Credit Card"

You know little Justin Bieber? Well, he’s being sued by someone who claims he stole his credit card to pay for a penis enlargement.

The guy suing claims he’s the singer’s biological dad and that he’s also the father of the 18-year-old’s girlfriend Selena Gomez.

And, if I didn’t feel like I was still dreaming as I typed all that, the same Michegan-based guy claims in the bizarre law-suit that Bieber bought a load of cocaine for him and P-Diddy on the card and “gave Selena a STD”.

Are lawyers in America really so crooked that they’ll take on suits this crazy? – rhetorical question – but anyway, the man also claims: “Bieber has cost me $426.78 and never paid me back. This money was used as abortion money because Justin Bieber got my daughter Selena pregnant in my bedroom, on my canadian bear rug.”

It’s all in the details with these things.

He continues that Bieber’s manager Usher hit on him at his house, before putting a firework up his bum while singing Katy Perry’s song – Firework- in his ear as he lit it.

*Pause for hysterical laughter*

The unnamed man says: “Usher Raymond came to my house on the fourth of July 2012 and sodomised me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring Kate Perry (sic) firework song in my ear drums.”

STOP! My stomach’s hurting and my eyes are streaming with laughter.

Goodness, I needed that laugh.

*Fans self*

Anyway, the lawsuit (which TMZ obtained a copy of) concludes … “I’m an emotional mess … America must boycott Bieber’s music!”

Well, that final part makes me think the guy’s not crazy at all, in fact I’m going to boycott the whippersnapper’s music and I’m not even American.



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