Cynthia Nixon: For Me, Being Gay is a Choice
Former "Sex and the City" star Cynthia Nixon said she chooses to be gay, much to the chagrin of gay activists who insist that being gay is not a choice.
Nixon, who was in a relationship with a man for 15 years with whom she had two children, switched to women in 2004.
"For me, it is a choice," she told The New York Times. "I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice."
Many anti-gay and religious groups claim that being gay is indeed a choice, a choice that can be reversed. Gay activists, however, say people are born gay, and there's nothing that can be done about it.
Nixon said the activists are none-too-happy with her choice of words.
“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice... you don’t get to define my gayness for me."
To Nixon, it's no big deal.
"A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not...
"Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate."
Sign up for the OV Daily Newsletter
Sign-Up Now for the Opposing Views Daily Newsletter
Sign up for the OV Daily Newsletter
Nixon like quite a few people was born with both sexual attractions to males and females. But some people are born with only sexual attraction to people of one sex. She has a choice to act on either attraction. But of course, many have no choice because they are attracted to people of just one sex.
Jerome McCollom
Very good. You have precisely defined the situation. She does have a choice in choosing a partner. I doubt very much that she had a choice in being bisexual. Clearly, she leans toward the lesbian side of bisexuality or perhaps was in denial about her sexuality.
Many people spend their entire lives in denial about something.
If freedom means anything, it is the liberty to tell others what they do not want to hear.
I posted this earlier, but it seems to have disappeared from the thread, so I'll try again:
There most certainly *are* some people who have a choice. Such people are bisexual. That's pretty much the definition of a bisexual -- someone who is attracted to/falls in love with people of either sex. That doesn't mean that gay (homosexually-oriented) people can "choose" to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex anymore than it means that straight (heterosexually-oriented) people can "choose to fall in love with someone of their own sex. Not sure why that's so hard for some people to grasp. If you find yourself attracted to people of both sexes and you "choose" to be "straight" or to be "gay," you are bisexual.
So you're saying that people choose to be bisexual? Or are you saying people that are bisexual can choose with whom to fall in love?
If a person finds themselves attracted to people of either sex, it seems that they didn't choose that but it's simply the way they are.
Did you choose to be illogical and inconsistent?
If freedom means anything, it is the liberty to tell others what they do not want to hear.
No, James, I believe you may be *choosing* to misunderstand my comment, but for whatever lack of clarity there may have been in my comment, I apologize.
No, people do not choose to be bisexual any more than they choose to be homosexual or heterosexual. However, a bisexual who might be relatively equally attracted to people of either sex can choose to engage in satisfying, emotionally fulfilling relationships with persons of either sex. Does that mean that they will necessarily fall in love with someone of the opposite sex or their own sex? Of course not. None of us chooses whom we fall in love with. But someone who falls in love with men sometimes and women other times is properly understood to be "bisexual."
Evidently many folks will have trouble understanding the difference between sexual orientation, which someone can't change, and preference. Subtleties are lost on folks who have no interest in learning the truth if it makes them uncomfortable.
You'll notice people in the comments throwing about terms like "deviant", which just indicates their opposition to anything that deviates from the most commonly found value. If their mythology book had any commentary whatsoever on it, I'm confident they would be just as foaming-at-the-mouth against left handed people for the same reason.
Good comments. As a matter of fact, left-handed people have been heavily discriminated against. That's why the left side in some languages is "sinister" or "esquerdo" (dark). As most people have advanced beyond those superstitions, perhaps we will see others fall into the real of "laughable silliness". After all, Thor, Jupiter, and the other ancient deities are gone, why not the rest?
If freedom means anything, it is the liberty to tell others what they do not want to hear.
Aha! So we do exactly agree. Being bisexual is a way you are born. Perhaps your environment might also have an effect. None of that has ever been definitely determined as far as I know.
I don't think we choose with whom we fall in love, either. We do have some choice about falling in "lust" I think. Maybe bisexuals only double their chances of a date on Saturday night? ;)
If freedom means anything, it is the liberty to tell others what they do not want to hear.
I don't know about the New Testament, but there's nothing in the Old Testament that explicitly forbids lesbianism...
I absolutely adore this. It is so irritating to me to hear homosexuals trying to place their orientation beyond their control in order to insulate it from moral condemnation. Why? What would make it immoral if it were a choice that you freely made? Why grant the anti-gay crowd the premise that IF it were a choice, it WOULD be immoral? Why not just say, "Yeah, I choose to be this way," and tell the religious bigots to stuff it?