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Is Christina Aguilera Desperate to Get Married?

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Matthew Rutler might want to think long and hard before he marries Christina Aguilera. Speaking of long and hard, as of Monday, Christina can now fit an entire baguette in her mouth at once. Good for her. From In Touch Weekly:

Christina Aguilera is so anxious to marry boyfriend Matthew Rutler that she's preparing to pop the question herself. Indeed, Christina, 30, has not been shy about telling friends and family that she and her beau are definitely getting married. According to friends of the couple, "She makes jokes about him proposing all the time in front of him. He gets a little embarrassed, but it's obvious they've talked about it. It's coming soon. She wants to start over and thinks that asking him to marry her is the way to start."

But another friend says Matthew, 26, may actually beat her to the punch. He wants to propose over Christmas but he's scrounging for money to buy her a rock. Unlike Christina's ex-husband, music executive Jordan Bratman, Matthew doesn't have the funds to keep up with Christina's lifestyle or extravagant tastes. "He wants to buy her a major diamond, so he's saving his pennies," a friend says. "He's going to propose this year, even if he has to buy the ring on credit." (Print Edition - 12/12)

What's this? A fat girl is desperate to get married to whatever she can get? Welcome to the real world, sweetheart. You know, let this be a lesson to all you young hoochies. No matter how successful a career you've made for yourself, nothing -- and I do mean NOTHING -- is as attractive as wearing size 0 jeans. If you don't believe me, just look at the evidence. Even though Xtina is a multiple Grammy winner, has an amazing voice, and has sold millions of records, she still can't keep a man. She has to deal with the embarrassment of being dumped by Jordan "fat Frodo Baggins" Bratman by buying her own engagement ring and pretending that Mathew "young Elijah Wood" Rutler bought it for her (I'm sorry, I just watched Lord of the Rings again). You think that would have happened when she weighed 90 lbs? Believe whatever lets you sleep at night, but I'm telling you to never doubt me.