Chris Brown Scolds the Jacksons for Their Family Feud

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As we reported yesterday, there is a whole bag of crazy going on in the Jackson family, and it’s just getting weirder as the story unfolds. But at least Katherine Jackson, Michael’s mum, has not been kidnapped!

That’s right, she’s had to release an official statement to confirm her own non-kidnapping. With Janet, Rebbie, Jermaine, Rebbie’s daughter and the marketing manager of the so-called holiday resort all standing behind her in a really awkward and terrifying way, Katherine bumbled her way through what can only be described as a hostage video:

“I am devastated that while I've been away, my grandchildren have been taken away from me and I'm coming home.

“There are rumours going around about me that I have been kidnapped... I am here today to let everybody to know that I am good and fine.

“My children would never do anything to me like that. It's stupid.

“One reason I didn't call is I just gave up my phone and I didn't want to have any phone calls while I was here

Gave up your phone? That doesn’t sound like the kind of holiday resorts that we go to (Butlins, admittedly). It sounds like prison. Additionally, she didn’t explain why she didn’t let Paris, Prince Michael and Blanket (are we still calling him Blanket?) know she was going ‘on holiday’.

Of course, when you’re the legal guardian of some kids, and then you disappear without telling them, the courts get pretty itchy. So Katherine’s been stripped of guardianship, replaced by Tito’s son, 34-year-old T.J. But what about the Diana Ross Clause?

Wait. What?

Michael, in his infinite wisdom, included a clause in his will, stating that if Katherine were ever unable to take the guardianship, Diana Ross would be the kids’ keeper. Because it’s only a temporary fix at the moment, though, it’s OK for the kids to be looked after by their cousin. Some people are wondering why Diana Ross isn’t fighting for her right to the mini Jacksons. We think she probably just doesn’t want to get involved.

Chris Brown, on the other hand, really really wants to be involved because one time early on in his career someone compared him to Michael Jackson because he’s a good dancer or something. Whatever, he’s tweeting about it thusly:

“That Jackson family feud sh*t gotta stop! Stop making y'all business public! Michael was under enough scrutiny”

“Don't put the kids through the bullsh*t! Work y'all sh*t out as a family and stop giving them the pleasure of f*cking wit y'all!”

Sure, Chris, the Jacksons are going to want PR and relationship advice from a man who PUBLICLY beat up his megastar girlfriend, PUBLICLY smashed a TV studio window and PUBLICLY brawled with Drake in a PUBLIC bar. 

Unfortunately, Paris seemed to appreciate his message, and gave him the validation that he so desperately wanted:

"@chrisbrown thanks chris<3"