By "Radical" Russ Belville
CORPUS CHRISTI – What was initally thought to be one of the largest marijuana plant seizures in the police department’s history turned into what amounted to a city park cleanup Thursday night.
Shortly after 8:00pm, a teen riding his bike through Waldron Park in Flour Bluff discovered what he thought were marijuana plants growing there.
Police later hauled away 300-400 medium-sized plants that they also believed was marijuana.
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If fact, officers only stopped collecting the plants because it got too dark, and planned to return in the morning to look around for more.
However, after spending more than an hour removing and tagging the hundreds of plants, then hauling it all down the police department downtown, testing revealed that none of it was marijuana at all.
Hello, 911? I’d like to report some marijuana growing on my lawn. Yeah, it’s a new, genetically-altered marijuana that grows really close to the ground, with a few rounded leavers and a soft yellow flower on the end. Now, this is a seriously dangerous marijuana, because eventually, the yellow flower becomes a round white ball of fluff, and the slightest breeze will blow these deadly marijuana spores all across the neighborhood!
No, really! My yard is teeming with this new short yellow marijuana! The kids even have a name for it: Dandy Lion! Everybody knows those reggae kids are always talking about lions, and you know “dandy” is just another word for “high”! Open your eyes, man!