Charlie Sheen Rips 'Two and a Half Men' Moving on Without Him

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News of a Charlie Sheen-less re-boot version of Two and a Half men broke yesterday. And so of course our favorite ‘warlock with adonis DNA’ couldn’t resist putting his two cents in.

In a letter to TMZ, Carlos Estevez (Sheen’s real name) told the show’s creator Chuck Lorre where he could stick it… it’s brutal.

Good Luck Chuck

MY fans may tune in for a minute, but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets. You were on your way out of Warner Bros. with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office. And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare. You sad silly fool. A-hole p*ssy loser. Put on the gloves you low rent, nut-less sociopath; I’ll beat your chicken shit soul in a court room into a state of gratitude. A state of surrender. Something you left at the door every time you blundered into the pathetic AA loser lounge. Newsflash; they are planning on voting you off the AA island. Even those clowns have no room for you anymore. Wow, I’m sure your children are SO PROUD of you. You can teach’em how to be a stupid b*tch.

A narcissist. A coward. A loser. A spineless rat.

I’m out here with my fans every night. The message is crystal clear;


And that’s exactly what it will be for you and your desperate vanity cards, every Monday night, a no-show. The ratings right now are not a fluke. It’s a big fat mess. A 2.0 demo? That sucks. Almost as bad as you. You’ve been warned. Reap the whirl-wind you cockroach, reap it.

- Charlie Sheen

WOW, talk about unstable…

But that isn’t the final word on the matter. Chuck Lorre found a creative way to poke jabs back at Sheen using his show The Big Bang Theory as his platform.

A vanity card placed at the end of last night’s episode read;

Dear Concerned Viewers,

Thanks to the magic of computer graphics, the monkey in tonight’s episode was not actually smoking a cigarette, nor was he ever exposed to secondhand smoke. At all times, every effort was made to make the monkey feel happy and safe. Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse. It wasn’t until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back. Thankfully, an intervention was staged by the Geico lizard and he is now going through detox and a twelve step program at the Bonzo Center in Palm Springs. Everyone at The Big Bang Theory wishes him well.

Who needs soap operas with all the drama going on at CBS?