There's nothing we don’t love about this story about Pete Townshend of The Who telling a seven-year-old girl to f*ck off. Nothing. It would be enough if it was just that. But Pete’s groveling but ultimately blame-avoiding apology is the kind of thing which makes us glad we haven’t died before we got old. Or something. We’ll work on that bit.
Basically, Pete was doing a gig with The Who in Toronto. And a dad and a small girl walked up to the stage. The girl was holding a sign that read: "Smash your guitar, Pete!" Cute, right?
Pete was so irritated by this request he ranted:
"Go away with that sign please, just go away with it, just go away with it. Don't bring your children, use them. I want to tell you two words but I can't because you've got a child there."
And then he mouthed “fuck off."
Because children can’t lip-read. Except the ones that can. Like this one.
Watch the video of that here. It’s amazing.
Anyway, it’s ok now because Townshend has written the family an apology. Only, it’s one of the worst apologies we’ve ever read. Here are some of our favourite bits (you can read the full grovel here).
"I am most certainly not angry. I was not angry on stage either."
I don't think they care about that Pete, you said "f*ck off" to their daughter.
"I thought of sending someone to find you both and telling you I was not upset, but we were flying to New York straight after the show, and had no time to spare."
You thought about it? Oh that's ok then. Also, where was this plane parked? At the stage door? Clearly the journey from stage to being airborn was too brief to make a phone call to someone at the venue."
"I thought your placard was fun."
No you didn't. It made you say "f*ck off" to a child.
"I had a job to do and I didn't want to lengthen the show by trying to deal with you directly and in detail."
You're blaming time constraints again?
"I was also worried that your daughter looked a little frightened as the crowd started to follow you down the aisle."
So worried you told her to "f*ck off".
The ushers should not have let you leave your seats and walk forward.
Oh, it's the ushers' fault. Stupid ushers.
"All that said, you did nothing wrong."
They know that Pete. It was you who did something wrong. You said "f*ck off" to a child.
Also, re this: "meet and be friends and put this behind us".
Not wise, Pete. Because of, you know, THAT business. Not wise.