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Lindsay Lohan May Create Charity to Stay Out of Jail

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The idea that some ex-drugs dealers and ex-criminals are encouraged to visit schools and speak to children about how to avoid making the same mistakes that they did is a good one. An idea that is less effective is having unrepentant, current drug dealers and criminals visiting schools and talking to children about how best to avoid getting caught.

In unrelated news Lindsay Lohan has been hard at work with her lawyer Mark Heller attempting to extricate herself from her upcoming parole violation, you know, the one she got for lying to the police about crashing a Porsche, a violation that could potentially land her in prison.

According to Heller, Lindsay is very sorry for any naughty things she may have done and is very keen to meet with the prosecution to discuss exactly how sorry she is. Which sounds like a line from a porno, but really isn't. She seems to be hoping that perhaps there's a tiny weeny chance her punishment might not progress as quickly as it should, based on the fact she's sorry (unlike most other minor criminals).

"Lindsay has asked me to facilitate an in-person meeting [with the prosecution]…not to discuss the merits of her defense of the details of her case, but rather for Lindsay to introduce herself…and express her desire to share her thoughts and help in the process of our determining what the best course would be for her future and to personally affirm her commitment and dedication to fix the problems."

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This judge looked an inmate square in the eyes and did something that left the entire courtroom in tears:

"Lindsay will gladly be participating in intensive psychotherapy, submitting herself to regular screenings and contributing her time to the production of public-service messages and periodic visits to schools, hospitals and other venues where she may provide inspirational talks, encouraging children to pursue positive goals and avoid bad habits."

The thing that strikes us as strange here is exactly what she's hoping to do with the prosecution. She's known to be at least four and a half Hiltons out of five on the spoiled entitlement scale so you can rule out a charm offensive against her accusers, she's also completely broke, virtually unemployable and has burned more bridges than the French Resistance, so aside from the sex thing it's not entirely clear what she's expecting from the meeting. Which is probably why Heller popped this crowd pleaser in at the end:

"[Lindsay is]exploring the establishment of a Lindsay Lohan Foundation [to] provide a nonprofit program to benefit young people."

You've got to be joking. Aside from anything else, who's going to trust Lindsay Lohan with their money? Well, aside from Charlie Sheen, that is.