Lady Gaga Buys $70K of Koi Fish

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Lady Gaga had to cancel her recent live tour after she buggered her hip trying to heal people through the medium of dance. Unfortunately for Gaga, the operation to repair her loins left her debilated and bedridden, relying purely on a wheelchair she named Emma for company. It's a bit like Cast Away, except with hospital equipment instead of a football.

Which is why, in an attempt to cheer herself up Gaga has apparently decided to spend some of her vast fortune on ornamental fish to keep her company. JUST LIKE IN CAST AWAY.

“Gaga said she’d had a dream about the fish so she had her team source some koi and set up a massive tank. The whole exercise cost over $70,000, which is a lot to most people but small change to her.”

Koi sourcer. Possibly best job in the world. JUST LIKE IN CAST AWAY. Ok, so that Cast Away thing doesn't always work, but we're just trying to be positive. JUST LIKE IN CAST AWAY.

In other news, we've made a gallery to remind both you and Lady Gaga of the good old days when she could walk freely. Each picture you view creates a new blood cell in Gaga's body.