Of all the marriages in all of Celeb Land, the Humphries/Kardashian nuptials of 2011 are surely the most transparent ever to take place? The whole world, watching Kim's Fairytale Wedding (not Kim & Kris' Fairytale Wedding, notice), could see that it was as genuine as Tom Haverford's green card marriage. Apparently, though, Kris thought it was totes for real, and his big fat sadness is playing a big part in the aggressive and contracted legal proceedings.
Kris' Auntie Dedria and Uncle Mike told The Sun that Kris now believes that the wedding was a cynical sham, and as a result will be fighting for an annulment, according to Auntie Dedria:
“It was a sham. My understanding of marriage is people are going to give it more than 72 days unless there’s serious abuse.
“If I felt somebody had duped me and used me in front of the whole world, I would be very angry.
Popular VideoThis young teenage singer was shocked when Keith Urban invited her on stage at his concert. A few moments later, he made her wildest dreams come true.
“An annulment says it wasn’t valid in the first place. She should admit that it was a sham at the very least.”
Hey, remember when Ross and Rachel got their Vegas wedding annulled? But everything worked out in the end! They had a baby together and then Rachel didn't get on the plane to Paris! It's unlikely that this will happen for Kim and Kris, but hey, wasn't Friends great?
Anyway, Uncle Mike has something to say, too:
“I can just see him wanting a pound of flesh back. I believe he wants payback.”
Popular VideoThis young teenage singer was shocked when Keith Urban invited her on stage at his concert. A few moments later, he made her wildest dreams come true:
Euw, Uncle Mike! Gross!
On Kris Jenner, the 'momager' of the whole Kardashiklan, Uncle Mike advocates violence:
“He wants to thump that mum — she uses people. I would dearly love for her to get thumped.
“She’s the mastermind. You can just see that’s the brains making that thing go. The wicked part is she’s using her family to make that thing. All of it’s really due to her.”
LOL! Thump Kim Kardashian's mum! LOL! Violence is funny! Someone punch that woman, amIriiite, guys?!
We here at Holy Moly have very little time for Kim Kardashian and her many Kardashithings but we're still failing to feel sorry for Kris, really. Yes, their marriage was clearly a sham, but if he's trying to convince us that he had no idea, that's a bridge too damn far. There's no way he couldn't have known that whole thing was a huge ratings grab. You know if someone's in love with you or not, even if you're as thick as a brick (which Kris clearly is).
The divorce/annulment hearing (on the grounds of irreconcilable HEIGHT differences) is set for May. We're torn because we'd love to see him told to shove off, but we'd also love to see what he might have to say for himself if the annulment is granted, because it would also annul the confidentiality agreement he signed in the pre-nup. There's got to be at least one story there...