Kris Humphries Didn't Give Kayla Goldberg Herpes

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Mere months after we brought you the news that Max George doesn't have chlamydia, we now bring you the news that Kris Humphries, the unusually tall, weird-faced husband of Kim Kardashian, doesn't have herpes!

There are probably bags and bags of famous people who don't have sexually transmitted infections and diseases, but at present they're not exactly shouting it from the rooftops, so we're just gonna go ahead and assume that they all have the cock-measles and fanny-rabies. We're nice like that.

But Kris Humphries, a man who was married to Kim Kardashian for 72 days before she filed for divorce because his face is weird, does not have herpes. He's not wandering round randomly telling people that, though: the happy news of his disease-free peen has emerged because he was being sued by some lady who said he gave her the herp. But all of his tests came back negative, according to a source:

    "Kris knew there was no way he gave Kayla herpes, so he took a blood test to prove it.

    "The results, filed as part of Kris’ response to the lawsuit Kayla filed against him are under seal, but he was found negative for herpes, AIDS, or any other sexually transmitted disease."

The lawsuit saw Kayla Goldberg accuse Kris of being a dirty herp-spreader:

    “Once Kayla Goldberg and Kris Humphries arrived at his hotel room they had sexual intercourse more than once, becoming intimate partners.

    "[She claims she was] free of any venereal diseases at the time she commenced her intimate relationship with Kris Humphries.

    "Goldberg developed symptoms of herpes about or around four to five days after the first sexual encounter with Humphries.”

But he didn't. Apparently he's now going to countersue Kayla. Genuinely we didn't even know that you could sue someone for giving you the herp, let alone sue someone for trying to sue you for giving them the herp. Seriously, America.

Kris might not be spreading the herp around, but he is still married to Kim Kardashian. She really ought to get that looked at...