Justin Bieber Promises to Return to UK

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After having the "worst birthday" and a mysterious illness and a pretty bad time, all told, Justin Bieber was said to have screamed "I am never coming back here" at paparazzi who may or may not have goaded him by calling him a stinky poo poo head and saying he looked like a big stupid idiot face. 

But Justin took to Twitter this morning to refute the claims, possibly after receiving a hundred million Tweets from barely literate, hysterical Beliebers:

"Lol. i see the tweets from the UK fans. I was never scheduled to be on any tv show saturday night. just rumours...again. lol.

"i was always scheduled to leave the UK that day...and I loved every show I had at the O2 this past week. the UK Beliebers are incredible.

"I will be back. and i will see u again. and I am grateful for all of u. U are what made some of the other stuff ;) worth it.

"i love my #beliebers - relax. i always got u. always gonna be there. much love."

Relax, Beliebers! He loves you because your unwavering fanaticism means that your pocket money all gets siphoned into his gigantic money cave, where he drinks molten money and eats money pies and just rubs handfuls of paper money all over himself. He loves you because you use pester power to get your long-suffering parents to spend upwards of £200 on gig tickets so he can get a toilet installed that flushes with coins instead of water. He loves that you spend your paper round wages making sure he can spend more than a mortgage on a variety of shit hats. Mmmmmm, money.

Of course Justin'll be back to the UK: he sold out the entire O2 (capacity: 20,000) four nights in a row. He knows what side his bread money is buttered.

Oh, and he's in Portugal right now, where he's already cancelled the concert he was supposed to be doing tomorrow evening. It's happening...it's happening...