Fans of irony will be happy to hear that Gwyneth Paltrow has once more clambered on board the Seriously?! Express to give us all a taste of her over-earnest bonkersness, this time in the shape of moneysaving advice! It'd be so funny if it wasn't genuinely disturbing in its short-sightedness!
In her weekly GOOP mailout, Gwyneth had a little interview with the CEO of LearnVest, a website that "helps people lead their richest lives", which is all well and good for Gwyneth, whose richest life probably includes bathing in soya-based imitation asses' milk and organic freegan honey whilst her friendly neighbourhood Reiki practitioner rebalances her chakras or whatever literally we do not care. Anyway, though we can see that Gwynnie's heart is in the right place (the centre of her upper chest, ever so slightly more inclined to the left) it's a bit rich (LOL) of her to be offering financial advice to anyone.
Lest you think we're being a little bit hard on poor milquetoast Gwyneth, we feel duty bound to point out that she is currently selling a pair of sweatpants for $150 (£98) a leather notebook for $125 (£79) and over Christmas she was selling wrapping paper for $52. Oh, and remember her $90 t-shirt...? So, yeah, Gwyneth isn't exactly a model of frugality and dignity in the face of poverty, so her moneysaving tips are, some might say, a bit fucking ridonkulous.
Oh, the advice given (in the mailout) is:
"Check your credit report."
It's easy to check your credit report when you're not terrified that it'll be bad news, or when you don't need to worry that the request for a credit check on your credit report record will ring alarm bells with creditors in the future.
"Attack your debt."
It's easy to attack your debt, with money, when you have lots of money!
"Avoid late payments."
It's easy to avoid late payments by simply having enough money to pay everything off in time, DUH!
Yeah. Thanks for the advice, Gwyneth, but no thanks. We'd be more likely to take Being Decent Human Being tips from David Cameron, frankly.
[via GOOP, which is one of the most unintentionally hilarious websites on the whole internet...]