A few weeks ago, we heard that Kim Kardashian had hired a pregnancy stylist, and we were like "well, sure, of course she has, because she's Kim Kardashian and everything is stage-managed in Kardashian land" but we were also a bit intrigued because we thought we'd see some amazing outfits on her bod for the next six months or so. Unfortunately, no. Since Kim's bump started showing, we've been treated to some serious disappointments, and this week it reached a fever pitch with some horrible trousers and a fugly dress.
The offending trousers are snake-print, high-waisted and have a peplum. We will never understand the Kardashians' fascination with the peplum, to be perfectly honest. It's just not a flattering feature. These trousers look uncomfortable around the crotch and stomach, and we can't imagine a pregnant lady wanting to be that hemmed in by her clothes, really. Then there's the polo neck top: big boobed ladies should never wear a polo neck. Nobody wants polo neck mono-boob. Nobody.
Her dress at Elton John's Oscars party is a simple Grecian draped number, but again it's making her look all weirdly disproportionate, clinging and pulling around the middle, and it looks cheap to boot. Not a good look.
Before you Take To Twitter to say that Holy Moly is abusing a pregnant woman for looking fat, check yourself. We're saying nothing of the sort. What we are saying is that her clothes fit all wrong and that they don't look comfortable. In fact, her face is doing half of our job for us: she looks unhappy and uncomfortable in these clothes.
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Say what you want about Kim Kardashian (we do, often) but she has a habit of always wearing clothes that make her look amazing, and it usually shows in her face that she feels confident and damn good. These outfits are all wrong for her and they're clearly pissing her off.
Kim needs to sack her pregnancy stylist and ask her sister Kourtney (who has been pregnant twice) for some sartorial pointers. We are emphatically not saying a pregnant woman should wander around in an assortment of tents and palazzo pants, but we are saying that Kim should be wearing clothes that make her feel good. Be that a muumuu or a bodycon micro-mini. Just, you know, no more non-stretch high-waist peplum trousers, please..