I have always been a strong willed person, certain of my convictions, not led by peer pressure or others opinions. I've known instinctively since childhood that life begins at conception, a viewpoint held firmly by both sides of our families. Should a woman not wish to become pregnant her choices would be to remain sexually inactive or practice birth control. I believe that choosing abortion is simply termination of life and as such, this life must be protected as valuable.
During my first pregnancy and delivery, I endured seizures and complications. It was later revealed I had a rare neuroendocrine condition that they wouldn't be able to start treating for almost ten years, until technology was able to catch up. As a result I was cautioned against further children and to be very careful with my body. This was devastating news. I did not understand my condition but knew that my Grandmother had died from something similar (brain lesions) and that I had cousins with MS, Turner's Syndrome and Parkinson's (related) but not exact conditions. I could not accept this diagnosis without doing further on my own research so I decided to dig.
I started consulting with neurosurgical specialists to see if anyone could treat me, all to no avail. Still, I filed for all of my medical records and started to study them. In the meantime, I began to feel a certain peace about things and decided that it was time to give our daughter a sibling so they would be a grade or two apart.
Four months later, on Thanksgiving, I was cooking for dinner and came down with what felt like the flu. (had not experienced this during my first pregnancy) My sister in law walked into my kitchen and took one look at me and turned around, saying she'd be back in ten minutes. Showing up with a six pack of sprite, animal crackers and a couple of EPT's, she tossed me the bag.
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Indeed, we got the reaction we were expecting. Our families were horrified. My mother had been present during the first delivery, witnessing the fiasco and it frightened her. I let her know that I would be careful and that I would be under the care of specialists and that everything would be just fine but she feared I'd bitten off more than I could chew. The others weren't much better.
I made a pro-choice decision, to keep a baby that was living at conception with pro-life specialists who respected our choice and reasons. While I understand it's an emotional issue, especially in situations where pregnancy is the result of a terrible event, I'm unable to reconcile the underlying point that as human beings, the appropriate action might be to separate the psychosocial trauma from the bottom line, preserving life rather than focusing on our own selfish concerns.
We had a happy outcome, delivering on the baby's due date, Specialists on hand in the event of emergency. But there wasn't one. Everything went off without a hitch. The kid was perfect. 9 pounds, 8 ounces, fat, pink and screaming his head off, sleeping in my arms the first night. He's the love of my life and has been since we first locked eyes.
I believe that our decision was blessed Nothing could have convinced me to terminate that precious life.